16 year olds swearing

[Allwillbewell119]

I can honestly say I have done my best for my 16 year old daughter but our relationship has completely broken down. Her behaviour has always been challenging, but she’s started to turn the air blue and call me the c word, as well as regular hateful comments about my appearance. My husband/ her father says I have to put up with it and carry on catering for her vegan diet, washing her clothes and running her around as she has control/anxiety issues. Has anyone got any ideas how we can get things back on track?

Hi lots of advice on the thread holding onto the rope.

Your daughter should not be calling you the c-word or be making hateful comments about you. A degree of stroppiness is normal at her age but she goes too far. I wish your husband was more supportive, frankly, if he spoke sharply and imposed some sanctions she might be better.

Don't do her washing though. At sixteen she must be able to put the washing machine on and deal with stains in a basin. You're doing her no favours by waiting on her too much and you both seem to be intimidated by her control/anxiety issues. Who doesn't have such issues in their teens? Kids can be very manipulative.

Good luck.

By 'you both' I mean you and her father.

Your DH is as much of a problem as she is, by the sound of it. He is actively enabling her to continue with this shocking behaviour.

Oh that sounds hideous, but no, no, no!! You do not deserve to be spoken to like that. You need to sort out things with your husband first, if you aren't a united front it will continue. She may have anxiety issues, but that is not a free pass to treat you like shit. You need to work out a way forward with your husband and you both need to treat her the same: understanding she has issues and letting her treat you like crap are not the same thing. Vegan diet, fine. Being her doormat, no. Have the difficult conversation with him. It may be that he is scared she will do something stupid if you 'drive her away'. The reality is, she is driving you away and you need to be together in parenting her.