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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenager refusing immunisations (phobia)

34 replies

Quellium · 30/05/2019 12:02

Does anyone have any tips, please?

Due to take 14 yr old DS for injections. This will be the 3rd attempt. One at school, one at special clinic. This will be at the clinic again.

He's getting himself properly worked up already, saying he's going to faint and be sick. No idea what the trigger is as he can't say why he's getting so upset. He thinks it's the thought of the needle going in.

We have emla cream and rescue remedy. I've tried tough guy, sympathising, trying to talk it through as approaches to this. But he gets into such a state he can't listen to me. We tried music last time. He couldn't stay still enough for them to let them do it. Won't talk about techniques that might help because he's too stressed by it.

He has to have them though. I can't bear the thought of him getting one of the diseases. Sad

What can I do if he refuses again? I guess we will be referred somewhere else? I'm looking for stories of hope, please! Or ideas that might help. I'm trying really hard not to lose my patience. I'm at the end of my tether with it! Much easier when they were little.

Thank you!

OP posts:
danicohn · 30/05/2019 12:46

Has he got needles before OP? Literally tell him it's worth a little scratch, and not get something that will literally kill him (meningitis to name one). Is he scared of the pain, or the very very very slim chance the experienced nurse could put it in wrong?

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 30/05/2019 12:50

At 14 you can’t force him, only persuade and ensure he knows why it is important. I was the same, and not immunised against some illnesses as a teenager. However later in life I became ill (unrelated) and needed a lot of blood tests. This cured me of my phobia and now as an adult I’m fully up to date with my jabs. It helps that I have a super doctor and don’t feel a thing though.

Mner2019 · 30/05/2019 13:01

My son (4 at the time) had an awful experience at a&e the other year when they were trying to take blood. They missed his vein, only drew half the blood, he was screaming absolutely inconsolable as he was in a lot of pain as well. They had to give him morphine to calm him down and he still wouldn’t let them take a sample.

Anyway we ended up recently having some sessions with a specialist play therapist which helped immensely. He was making paintings with the syringes, putting needles in teddies etc... is there anything like that you could access via the gp or the clinic. I am
sure they would have age appropriate things for your son.

PenelopeFlintstone · 30/05/2019 13:02

Could he get some valium like people that get it to go to the dentist?

BlueCowWonders · 30/05/2019 13:06

Mine needed more than one hypnotherapy session. £60 per session but we’d tried everything else and it worked where nothing else did

Saucery · 30/05/2019 13:13

They are unlikely to keep referring as I’m not sure what options are left. Maybe diazepam from the GP? Worth a try for something so important.
I was the same as your DS and nothing - anger, distress, scorn, matter of factness, reassurance, Emla cream - absolutely nothing would persuade me to have my teenage injections.

MoominMantra · 30/05/2019 13:17

You can't force him. It sounds like he has a real phobia which needs addressing with psychotherapy because, at some point he may really need a blood test or a transfusion or something. I would find a way to tackle this.

I'm completely astounded that people are suggesting giving diazepam to a 14 year old. Bad, bad idea.

Saucery · 30/05/2019 13:32

Really, Moomin? Why such a bad idea? People take it for flying phobia in very small limited doses and I wondered if it was an option for a 14yr old under direct GP prescription for this specific situation.
I was terrified of the thought of tetanus etc as I grew up, but not enough to make me have an injection against it. The sheer panic I had with booking in bloods and prolonged hospital stay makes me feel sick even now, 15 years later. Anything that would take the edge of that panic to allow necessary vaccination would be beneficial, surely?

MoominMantra · 30/05/2019 13:40

I just know that when someone is predisposed to anxiety about a phobia, taking diazepam isn't really the long term answer. At 14 I think it's more possible to try and get to the root of the fear. Phobias are very possible to treat.

Original poster
Quellium · 30/05/2019 13:40

Really helpful things here, thank you. Hadn't considered hypnotherapy, but I'll look into it.

I feel completely at a loss. I can't force him, you're right. He's bigger than me for a start!

Interesting, Saucery that you say nothing would have persuaded you. I think that's what will happen here.

I've been through the risks and horror stories but they don't have an effect. It makes me panicky to think he could be exposed to things, which in turn makes me really cross. Confused

Seems to be scared of the needle going in. I doubt he'd even swallow a tablet, that's another battle!

He screamed the GP surgery down when he was 4/5, but hadn't had any injections since then, unless I'm forgetting any on the schedule, we never miss having them... until now. That's all I can think it stemmed from? We barely go to the GP, so maybe he got a phobia from that, fear of the unknown?? (Only because luckily we've never really needed to, not because of any woo thing.)

Do agree that being desensitised to it by having lots of injections works, but unfortunately / (fortunately!) that isn't something I can make happen.

Gah, ok. Well I'll take him and see what happens. Not hopeful! He really wants to do it, but just can't stop flinching. Poor kid.

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
MummyBear2352 · 30/05/2019 13:41

My nephew is petrified of needles and when he needed a tooth out at the dentist my sister bribed him with money 😂😂. It's not the best thing in the world to do but it worked never the less

MoominMantra · 30/05/2019 13:42

Like I said, if he needs urgent medical treatment at any point he's going to need to have needles inserted.

kerkyra · 30/05/2019 13:48

I have a needle phobia. It's taken over my life and even the odd filling I've had have been with no injection.
When I do have to have a blood test etc, my only tip is to ask to lie down,then I ask the dr to count down from five. I go floppy and in my mind I play dead!
It works for me but after I need to sit with head between my legs as feel faint. Then I'm fine and all good.
Hope your son finds his way to deal with them

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 30/05/2019 13:54

I’m really not great with needles. When I’ve had to have a blood test I always ask to lay down. I then close my eyes before they even get the needle out, so I don’t have to see it, and keep them closed until all the evidence is gone. It helps if they talk to me about some nonsense as they do it. I still feel a bit woozy occasionally, but this helps me get through it.

Andro · 30/05/2019 14:00

He's clearly in established phobia territory, so threats/bribes/punishments won't work and may very well make things worse. His fear is real, even though it's irrational in its magnitude - it's not willful bad behaviour.

CBT, hypnotherapy and exposure therapy can all help treat phobias, but your DS has to be on board with it. Without his buy in, any type of therapy would be waste of time. Needles is one phobia well worth treating though, because it can have serious consequences.

Theredjellybean · 30/05/2019 14:04

I'd try bribery.. Money, game for console,

Once he has had one and realised it is no big deal he maybe bettee

Original poster
Quellium · 30/05/2019 15:13

He wouldn't have it done, so we've been referred to the GP for further help.

Definitely in phobia territory here. Poor kid.
I wonder if lying down might be better, like you said kerkyra and ColdTatty.

I think he'd be on board with CBT etc. He's so upset with himself.

Thanks again.

OP posts:
Andro · 30/05/2019 15:37

Laying down would be great if the major problem was going light headed/passing out. He needs help to find the trigger, then he'll be able to work on managing his response.

Hopefully the GP will take it seriously, it can take a lot of work to unpick what's happening - often because the initial trigger was in early childhood (pain, foreign object piercing the skin, helplessness due to being restrained for previous vax and feeling sick/faint and fearing that feeling are all known triggers).

Nesssie · 30/05/2019 15:44

I have to lie down as I always faint. So I lay down, cover my head with my jumper, have the injection and then stay lying down for a bit.

I sympathise as I have a huge needle phobia and use to get so worked up when I was younger. It really is awful, but has definitely got better as I've got older.
My parents wouldn't tell me it was happening until the very last minute, and then use to bribe me when a trip to my favourite restaurant after.

YesQueen · 30/05/2019 15:50

I'm useless with needles and I ended up not having blood tests loads when I was younger. It did get better over time and I was diagnosed with a condition that means I have to mix and inject a syringe weekly - so no choice really!

Original poster
Quellium · 30/05/2019 17:06

Sympathies to you all! I hope the GP doesn't fob us off. Mind you, I suppose it will depend if there's any funding for this sort of thing in the area!

OP posts:
PenelopeFlintstone · 31/05/2019 07:11

I wondered if it was an option for a 14yr old under direct GP prescription for this specific situation Me too.

Tableclothing · 31/05/2019 07:21

Needle phobia = CBT (on the NHS, anyway). I hope you can get seen in a timely fashion. Good luck.

tribpot · 31/05/2019 07:27

You could ask him if it would help to learn more about the diseases you are trying to immunise him against? I would only do this if he thought it would be helpful, as I don't think a shock tactic would work given his phobia.

sashh · 31/05/2019 08:14

Has he tried coughing?

It sounds crazy but if you cough a needle doesn't hurt as much and also relaxes you.

Could you get some acupuncture needles and let him have a go at coughing and playing with the needles - no pressure to pierce skin but to feel the point/scratch. Maybe start first with prodding a finger, then a pencil into his armor leg.

I had a bad experience as a child with a tetanus jab, I still at 50+ years old let anyone near my bum with a needle. Fortunately mst doctors will happily inject a thigh instead. Have you talked about where the needle will be injected? Give him a choice.