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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Ds having suicidal thoughts

3 replies

Clutterfreeintraining · 27/05/2019 10:05

I'm not sure if I've put this in the right topic, sorry.

Ds is 16 (nearly 17). He's had an horrendous couple of years - a boy in his year died from suicide 18 months ago. He's known him since he started primary and the boy's mother and I are good friends.
6 months later a girl in his year passed away, unexpectedly.
There's been a falling out within the extended family which has had quite far reaching effects on us so I've probably not helped ds' state of mind because I've been so wrapped up in my own issues.
His dad was absent until a couple of years ago, promised Ds the world and couldn't deliver. They're very low contact. The last communication I had with him was to ask him for help when ds' friend died 18 months ago and I'm still waiting for him to call.
He had a very angry outburst about 3 weeks ago which I thought was pre-exam stress. We talked about it at the time and things calmed down but I know he's really worried about not getting high enough grades to get back into year 13.
Ds got very drunk on the weekend and ended up having a complete meltdown. I've never seen him so upset. He mentioned both of the friends who died and how he'd considered suicide but didn't think he could do it to me - I am absolutely terrified he'll get drunk like that again, lose the ability to reason with himself and do something awful.

I don't know what to do. We talked yesterday but he brushed it off as a drunken episode and I know I certainly had a few of those when I was younger but he's had so much to deal with.
My plan was to contact his head of year tomorrow (not sure if I'll get a response with it being half term) but now wondering whether to contact a suicide charity for more immediate help or whether it was an extreme reaction to alcohol and focus on him not binge drinking in future. He's been offered counselling several times over the 18 months but has always declined. Whilst I don't want to force him, he really needs someone (who isn't me) to talks things though with.

OP posts:
sleepismysuperpower1 · 27/05/2019 10:31

I'm really sorry, that must be tough on your ds and on you. personally, i would contact parentline. they can advise what to do, and if you can persuade your ds to talk to them (he might feel better about talking on the phone than face to face), they can help him too. the number is 0808 800 2222 and they are open 9am – 9pm, Monday to Friday and 10am – 3pm Saturday and Sunday. wishing you all the best x

Clutterfreeintraining · 27/05/2019 12:09

Thanks for the reply Smile
We've just been out for a walk/breakfast and I asked what he thought about talking to someone at school but he's not keen on any of my suggestions.
I'll call parentline, thank you for the suggestion.

OP posts:
mcmen71 · 27/05/2019 12:31

Hi read the thread holding on to the rope on teenagers section some good tips on there

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