Smoking dope: normal/no big deal or cause for concern?

[avenueq]

Dd says everyone does it. And I know lots of people did when I was young. But isn't it more harmful/dangerous nowadays? She does it maybe once a week. I just don't know how to react. She's 17 btw

Knowledge is the answer here, I think (as with all recreational drug use).

Go and visit The Loop. Fabulous charity. Talk to Frank is reasonable too. The Loop have some brilliant posts on Insta about safe doses, safer practices, drug testing at festivals, they put out warnings about dangerous pills in circulation etc. They have saved many lives by just arming people with knowledge. Their posts are mainly MDMA, Ket and Cocaine but they do discuss others.
I've just looked at the NHS website on it as well and they have some interesting facts about the dangers of it.

It's such a hard issue to deal with as a parent. The thing is, if kids want to do it, they are going to do it. You can't be there with them every second of the day. I think it's best to arm people with the knowledge of how to do things safely, with the obvious statement that the best way to avoid danger is by not taking them at all.

I would also really try and hammer home that just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean they have to.

Maybe you could both sit down and look at some stuff together and discuss it?

My DS started in the 6th form, three weeks later 8 students were expelled, police called the lot, scared the rest of the students.

It is rife in the sense that most teens will come across it. Many will try it and then give it a miss. Some will try it and become dependent on it or at least emotionally dependent on it. For others it can trigger MH issues. You won't know beforehand which one you will be. And there is a lot of unsafe stuff out there.

I have reminded both my teens that we have MH issues in the family and that a close friend of ours killed himself after serious MH issues which he believed was triggered by moderate weed use. And that what happened before he killed himself was in some ways worse than the actual suicide.

I have also reminded my eldest (the one who cares about the quality of her brain cells) that dope tends to make you less able to concentrate, less focused, less clear-thinking. And as someone who hangs around in acting/artistic circles she doesn't find it hard to see which ones never see their dreams go anywhere.

Afaik ds has tried it, dd hasn't. But as a parent I don't find myself under any obligation to sanction anything just because "they're going to try anyway". Well, I can't stop you from doing what you want outside the house, but you may as well know that I think it's bloody stupid. And there will be no weed in this house.

Ds(14) says loads of people at school smoke it, and says he doesn't, which I hope is true.

As pp's say, sit her down and have a grown up talk with her about it. Don't freak out else she'll write you off as unreasonable.

If she's just smoking it once a week and it's not affecting her day to day life, is it any worse than going out and getting pissed at the weekend? Just keep an eye on her, you don't want the usage creeping up. Hopefully it'll just be a phase.

She doesn't need to follow the herd. It's a big "No" from me on this topic - you don't need recreational drugs or alcohol to add fun to your teenage or adult life and at the same time risk affecting your mental health and lungs. Looking after you mental health should be a top priority.

I would have a chat with her about the latest research about brain development and smoking weed in a fairly low key "you might be interested" kind of way. My 16yo DD found that interesting and is pretty ambitious so it might make her think.

With DS (now 20) we had regular conversations about weed and MH from 15 or so as he is prone to depression and has some OCD stuff going on. Luckily he seems to have agreed that it probably isn't a great idea for him.

Tbh it's not something I want my teens/young adults doing as the norm, but I worry more about alcohol related violence and DD being at parties where there is alcohol. It's a big thing with the kids who live near the beaches here (Sydney) but mine aren't part of those friendship groups. I think education is always the way to go, trying to subtly inform their choices has more chance of success than "just say no".