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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Did you/will you buy your 17 year old a car?

119 replies

Robertsmithdoesmyhair · 24/05/2019 18:09

My DD is 17 on Mon. She wants driving lessons and a car to drive to college in! Lots of her (wealthy) friends are now getting them! I've explained that we could afford to buy a car if she could tax and insure it. She doesn't even have a PT job so that's a no then.
Since when did 17 year olds expect their parents to pay for a car? Is this a thing now? It's utter madness! I thought she'd want a new iphone!
Did you get your DC one??

OP posts:
Ragwort · 24/05/2019 20:33

Because in my opinion, a car is an expensive purchase, as are the running expenses, few teenagers are going to be able to cover the cost of the car, insurance, maintenance, fuel etc themselves so it seems to be assumed that parents are just going to ‘treat’ them to a car. I personally think that is quite an indulgent gift for a teenager.

freshstartnewme · 24/05/2019 20:39

@Ragwort you said you don't think it's very sensible for a 17/18 year old to have their own car. Your only reason given is parental finances. My 17yo bought her own car, is that ok? Because it falls under your original 'not sensible' but doesn't fit with your reasoning.

Purpleartichoke · 24/05/2019 20:42

But for many of us, it’s not a gift for the teenager, it’s a gift for ourselves. The gift of no longer playing chauffeur. Parents count the days down because transportation Takes so much out of our days.

I always find these discussions amusing, because here teens start learning to drive at 14 and at 15 are driving themselves to school. By 17 they have 3 years of experience and have graduated to a full, unrestricted license.

Sparklingbrook · 24/05/2019 20:46

Yeah I wish I had added up all the time spent ferrying the teenagers about and waiting for them outside places. And I only had two DC.

To think that's nearly coming to an end is very exciting.

newjobnerves · 24/05/2019 20:47

My DH paid for all his lessons, car, insurance etc at 17-18, I would have been more than capable of doing so myself too if my mum hadn't of insisted, both DH and I were working along side sixth form, it doesn't have to be an "indulgent gift". As others have said driving is a necessary life skill particularly in the part of the world I'm from, and we are all new drivers at some point, I don't think I'd have been any safer as a first timer in my 20s than I was in my teens. Driving is a skill you learn once you are actually driving, it's no good having lessons and then not driving for a few years, in my opinion.

Elzbells · 24/05/2019 20:48

My parents wouldn't buy me a car, they could afford it but wanted me to earn it myself.

As a result I bought the cheapest fiesta I could find in my budget and then spent a remarkable amount of time quite vulnerable, late at night, sitting on the side of the road in a breakdown. Not to mention the time the thing completely stalled and electrics failed doing 70 on the motorway.

My 2 girls will be getting a car we will help choose and vet after they have passed their tests.

m0therofdragons · 24/05/2019 20:48

I bought a car last year (second family car so a little ford Ka). My plan is for dd to have it in 6 years then I'll get me the mini I yearn for. Not sure what we'll do when twins are 17!

Haffdonga · 24/05/2019 20:51

The reason so many people have answered yes to this is because your question was Did you buy your 17 year old a car? so people who did will click and say yes. People who didn't wont.

If your question was Are we the only people who wont buy our 17 year old a car? or AIBU not to buy my 17 year old a car? you'd get loads of No answers.

FWIW, we live in a fairly wealthy area but most of ds's friends don't have their own car but do have access to a shared family one. We didn't and wouldn't get ds his own even though we could probably afford it. He doesn't need one. But we did put ds on our insurance and have kept our small second family car which he can borrow if needed.

MyGirlDaisy · 24/05/2019 20:53

We did. Both ds paid for their own driving lessons but our family car is far too powerful for them to drive or to have practised in. Plus at weekend I was borrowing my parents car as DH and I in different directions with their sporting commitments. I inherited a small sum of money so we bought a small car which they both practised in and we could also use. Now they both share it but have to pay for fuel and contribute to insurance.

newcat12345 · 24/05/2019 21:29

I'm really torn. My DM had zero money and was unable to contribute to driving lessons or a car. As a consequence I always felt deprived compared to my friends. The accomplishment of passing my test and buying my first car at 20 was indescribable and I still feel it's one of the biggest achievements of my life

On one hand I don't want DC to miss out like I did one hand but conversely there is no way I will hand it on a plate at 17 (and yes we live in a rural area).

Oliversmumsarmy · 25/05/2019 00:28

Elzbells this is exactly why we leased Dd a brand new car.

Because of her jobs she does odd hours and travels quite a bit. It is preferable that she is able to get into her own car at the end of work and drive herself home.
One job provides a taxi at the end of the evening but others don’t and sitting on a platform late at night on her own isn’t a great thought.

Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit · 25/05/2019 00:31

My parents did for me and we will for all of our children.
My parents paid all of my running costs too included maintenance, petrol and insurance.

But it’s all relative isn’t it, can you afford it? If so then buy her a car if not try and stretch yourself to a contribution.

Nandocushion · 25/05/2019 00:48

No but we'll be passing on our current one (will be 7 years old) to oldest DC when the time comes, and get ourselves a new one. I wouldn't do this if we had decent public transit, but sadly we don't.

Justabadwife · 25/05/2019 07:04

Dd is only 9 atm, but we have already had this conversation.
DH was of the mindset that we would play for one or 2 lessons and she would foot thr rest.
I was of the mindset that as I am now 27 and still cant drive (I will learn this year i promise 😂) once dd hits 17 we will pay for her to learn to drive and get her a car, as it's an important life skill and she needs to do it.
DH agreed with me, so that for now at least is the plan.

Qweenbee · 25/05/2019 07:11

We've made our money slip through her fingers dd, contribute a set amount. It has actually forced her to learn the art of saving and going without, in order to finance something she wants. So a big learning point.

We will pay insurance for first year, then she will need to finance it herself from her part time job.

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 25/05/2019 08:15

No . We gave our teen a choice - horse or car . She chose horse . Not much difference in running costs though to be fair !

whitehalleve · 25/05/2019 08:42

No I won't but we live in central London and already pay several hundred pounds a month for parking for the cars we already have and rarely ever use!

UrsulaPandress · 25/05/2019 09:33

Dd already had the horse! Cost a bloody sight more than a car.

Applesbananaspears · 25/05/2019 18:30

If parents drive an expensive or powerful car it’s almost impossible to get a teen insured on it and even if you could I am not sure that letting a 17 year old loose on one is a good idea.

I want my DS to learn to drive, my parents did for all of us and I don’t want to continue ferrying him around, having him drive will be a real help. The honest answer is that buying running and insuring a 6 year old group 1 car is affordable to us so we will do it. I drive a lot, I love having a nice car and I’m certainly not downgrading my car just so I can share it with my children

lanbro · 25/05/2019 18:38

My dc are a decade off but my sister and I were both bought cars, old bangers then subsequently helped upgrade them at 21. We lived fairly rurally, pretty much everyone on my circle passed their tests and had cars at 17 - I surprised when I went to uni at how many people couldn't drive.

I do intend to help my dc learn to drive and get cars, I think it's a great life skill and enables them to be more independent

Weaverspin · 25/05/2019 18:51

No. We paid for DD’s driving lessons and test. She passed, and after she’s finished A levels I’ll add her to my insurance for the summer. All being well, she’ll be off to uni in the autumn, with nowhere to keep a car, so there’s no point in her having her own just now.

We’ll help with the cost of one when the time comes. She isn’t working at the moment, so has no way to fund use of a car, and we can’t afford to just add another to the household.

EdWinchester · 25/05/2019 18:56

We paid for all the lessons and test which he took at 17. We gave him the money to buy a car when he was 18. He didn't actually buy one until he was 20 as he's at uni.

We gave him 6k - enough to buy a fairly decent car, but he spent only 2k of it.

DizzySue · 25/05/2019 19:00

My DS bought his own car with savings from his part time job (he's been working since 15yo) and we paid for road tax and insurance.

We also paid for the lessons, learners insurance and the theory test and driving test (fortunately he passed first time)....cost us a bloody fortune in total!

fishonabicycle · 25/05/2019 19:00

We couldn't take him out to practice in our car - couldn't get insurance - so bought an old car to learn in and keep til he goes off to university, when it will be sold.

Puzzledmum · 25/05/2019 19:07

We also did - a nearly two year old small car. We paid for all her driving lessons,petrol and insurance, which for the first year is extortionate by the way Confused! The best thing we did though! We are very happy that she has her own transport and can go wherever she wants to. Besides I get lifts from the station regularly Smile

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