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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Phones again (sorry) yes or no vote please

26 replies

Luckything50 · 22/05/2019 21:54

Ok my 15yo ds (16 in September) is trying to persuade me that he should be able to have his phone in his room overnight as he’s now mature enough... yes or no?
To help you decide:

  • every holiday and weekends he has it anyway, we’re only talking school nights
  • he doesn’t have many friends so it’s unlikely to buzz all night, and he says he’ll turn off notifications anyway
  • he does have a long term girlfriend, not sure if she has her phone at night
  • straight A student, generally well behaved, can be moody and grumpy but is 15!
  • has never slept well but is better now than when younger.
I’m almost at the point of giving in. Opinions?
OP posts:
00100001 · 22/05/2019 21:58

My DS15 isn't allowed his

Rottielottie · 22/05/2019 21:58

At 15, I’d say it’s fine to let him. If not now, then at what point would you allow it?

ajobquestion · 22/05/2019 21:58

Agree, with the proviso that it goes back outside room at night if it's interfering with sleep?

boredboredboredboredbored · 22/05/2019 21:59

Mine are 14 & 15 and have always had their phones in their bedrooms at night. I never even thought to remove them Blush they seem to be doing ok....

Pipandmum · 22/05/2019 22:01

Yes mine does. So does my 13 year old. They use it as an alarm. My son may use his phone late but normally when they go to bed they are going to bed.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 22/05/2019 22:01

Yes. I've let DD from the time she started going to bed after me. Age 14.

Futureisland · 22/05/2019 22:05

I don't take my 12 year olds unless I catch him on it. He puts it on his desk before bed. The desk is at the otherside of the room. I think 15 is old enough to keep it in his own room and suffer the consequences should he sneakily stay up on it during the night.

TwoBlueFish · 22/05/2019 22:06

DS1(16)- phone downstairs at night
DS2(14) - phone in his bedroom on do not disturb

DS2 is very disciplined with his phone and I trust him completely. DS1 would be on his if he woke in the night. So, it really does depend on the child.

Original poster
Luckything50 · 22/05/2019 22:52

Hmmm thanks. I’m surprised actually, thought It would be a no-no. I think I’ll trial it. Right now he’s in the front room sulking, ironically proving exactly how ‘mature’ he is. He won’t be getting it tonight that’s for sure Grin

OP posts:
TheGirlWhoLived · 22/05/2019 22:54

I’d give it to him. Mine are 8 and 5 so No practice in this whatsoever Grin

stucknoue · 22/05/2019 22:54

Mine have always had theirs, not had any issues - DD's boarded so no one tells her to even go to sleep but she manages. You have to give kids a chance to prove that they are responsible

Wond3rment · 22/05/2019 22:54

No for me.
DS16 doesn’t have his phone at nighttime and I think even he would agree he is better for it.

ReganSomerset · 23/05/2019 05:15

It'd be a no from me until sixteen.

ReganSomerset · 23/05/2019 05:56

Ideally I'd forbid it until 18, but seeing as 16 yos are considered mature enough to have a hand in deciding the fate of Scotland, it seems a bit unrealistic to expect them to hand their phone over at night!

pilates · 23/05/2019 08:21

It’s a no from me.
Once DD had finished school she then self regulated. I will do the same with DS.

RestingBitchFaced · 23/05/2019 09:02

My 13 year old is allowed it, BUT he switches it off before going to sleep, and is not to leave it charging overnight (fire risk). I do the same with mine, if anyone wants to reach me in an emergency they can ring the landline

SleepingSloth · 23/05/2019 09:18

Our childrens phones are sometimes in their rooms overnight, they are often left in other rooms though. I've seen our 15 year old using his phone late sometimes but it's never become a huge issue so we've never had to make it a rule that phones can't be in bedrooms overnight. If I thought he was on his phone into the early hours on a regular basis and he was tired due to it then I would stop it. As always, pick your battles and all that.

birdonawire1 · 23/05/2019 09:29

No.

Inforthelonghaul · 23/05/2019 09:35

Mine is allowed his on a Friday and Saturday night but Sunday to Thursday it’s charging downstairs overnight from 10pm. He’s currently sitting GCSE’s and much as he hates it, it’s working well. if he had access to it overnight he would be on it there’s no question. He wouldn’t mean to be but he would, we’ve tried it in the past but it’s irresistible. Sixth form college will be different I think but right now it’s not a choice.

24balloons · 23/05/2019 09:35

Definitely a no from me.

I caved in and allowed ds1 his phone at night in y12 and it was the ruination of him. Will not be making the same mistake twice, but mine are obsessive and have no off switch with gadgets. Ds2 is regularly up until 5am on weekends and holidays with his electronic devices.

Only you can tell how it will affect your child.

MummyBear2352 · 23/05/2019 11:21

I’d say he’s old enough to be given a trial of having it at least if he messes around and doesn’t keep his promise you can take it away again .

crystalcoast · 23/05/2019 11:24

Are you happy about whatever videos/photos etc may be accessible? This has always concerned me more than time spent on the device.

BenidormBlast · 24/05/2019 17:14

At 15, nearly 16 yes.

TeenTimesTwo · 24/05/2019 19:10

No. Not until after GCSEs which in your case are a year away still.

Why does he need phone in room overnight? He should be winding down for sleep / asleep.

FlorenceKettle · 24/05/2019 19:21

My 12 year old has his in his room but only because he literally has no interest in it at all. He has no social media yet of course and no WhatsApp. So it's just something that sits on a shelf and he takes it to school if he's cycling.

So for now I'm not concerned. I'd think again if he was addicted to it