Mobile phone usage

[topsymbe]

HELP!!! I have a FD (very early teen) who is supposed to stop using her phone after 9pm. Although I go and make sure she is off it and in bed, i'm sure she is still using it after I leave her room. I'm not allowed to take it off her, so the question is, is there a way i can tell if she is using it after deadline so that i can report it back to SS so they are aware of the issue. She has a lock code on it, so i can't actually get access to it either. We are supposed to monitor, but i know she deletes things before showing me the phone.

You should have had boundaries set before the phone was given.

• you would need to know the lock code or no phone
• you are allowed to monitor the phone as and when you ask for it
• you should take the phone off her at 9pm (or the time set) and leave it to charge in another room.

You're the parent, you set the rules. As she's early teen, I'd put this in place immediately

Why are you not allowed to take it away?

Can you have your WiFi restricted for her devices after 9pm maybe?

@HappyMama01 I think the OP means this is her foster daughter and she's not allowed to remove the phone because of reasons from social services... is that correct OP? The OP won't have given her the phone by the sounds of things.

It's a really difficult one if you can't remove the phone from her room. Teenagers are sneaky and will find a way around any rules. Hopefully someone more experienced can come along.

I think OP cant remove the phone as the dd is a foster child, presumably there are rules regarding their personal possessions.
OP, could you add her on SM, would she be ok with that? I can see if my dc use their phone at night by seeing them active on WhatsApp, Twitter etc. Not sure there is another way to tell tbh.

Or turn the wifi off, but that wont work if she has plenty of mobile data.

Chocolatebuttonsandcheese and StereophonicallyChallenged have got it right @HappyMama01. There ARE some rules you can set, and others you can't. The FD has contact with M&D, who still have legal care, and so set boundaries (albeit very bad ones!!). She unlocks the phone to show us what she's been doing, but only after she has deleted what she doesn't want us to see. Its more to do with the timing of her going to sleep. I need to prove that she is still using it after curfew so that SS can take action and set new rules/boundaries. It's a minefield when dealing with this sort of thing, so need to follow rules and privacy rights.

@Stereophonicallychallenged, tried adding on SM, but she refuses to accept requests, so she knows i will see her using it. Don't like being sneaky, but without evidence, it will just go on. Removing WiFi wont work, as M&D pay for phone and has oodles of data.