Tough love ?

[caringdad66]

16 yr old son has refused to attend school since October.

Uses cannabis every day, and is refusing to even sit his GCSES.

He lies in bed till 2pm, and then plays x box all day.

His school, bent over backwards for him, and allowed him to sit his exams at home, with an invigilator present.
He sat the first two papers, but had now given up.

I've asked him to leave the house for a month, and sent him to his mums.

He can return as long as he's enrolled at College, or got a job or apprenticeship.
And no drugs.

Am hoping this will act as a jolt to his apathetic system, and make him realise that a life of idleness is both unacceptable, and not good for his mental health.

Be honest, what would you have done?

Took the batteries out of his controller /chopped plug off...
Withdrawn cash.

No WiFi.

How is he paying for the cannabis? Does he suffer from mental health problems?

His grandfather left him £1000 in his will.
Very mild anxiety and OCD.
Our lol cal CAHMS team, say he is simply "pushing boundaries "

It's very tricky when they have their own money - nephew was a given lump sums from his Grandmother, who thought she was doing the right thing but it just meant he had enough money to do nothing and his social anxiety deteriorated. His Mum tried to get him to take part in things - like making dinner, anything to get him out of his room and doing something. I hope someone comes along soon better equipped than I, maybe try the mental health boards too.

Get rid of the Xbox.
Act like a child. Get treated like one.

Your house. Your rules. If he can afford drugs, then he can pay rent. If he's not going to school. Then he needs to contribute to the household.

No xbox until after college/work. No college/work no xbox. I am wondering though if he could he be depressed and also why,in his eyes, living with his mum would be a bad thing?

Absolutely no WiFi or anything else you pay for.
Bore him into doing something.

Have you discussed with his mother a joint approach? You do need to give him some tough love. But I have known teenagers like this (taking alot worse than cannabis) and they do grow up eventually. But I would NOT send him out on the streets in his own - he may end up homeless and doing all sorts. Always offer him a safe haven. Under your rules. That £1000 won’t last long.