Teen dd friendship issues... wwyd?

[thegreatcrestednewt]

DD is in Year 10 - 15. Had a lovely group of friends since starting secondary. But this year they have fractured. There was one big group in the class that dd used to be part of. But now it's two smaller groups, and the girls in the breakway group are being really mean to the other girls - ignoring them, leaving them out, not inviting them to partiesm, blanking them, excluding them, talking loudly about what they've been up to in front of them but not socialising at all with them out of school.

The worst thing is that dd's best friend is the worst one. She's got a new best friend and they're all over each other and exbf is being nasty to dd and the other group.

It's especially nasty because this girl has always been so lvoely. I can't imagine why she's changed so much.

All the girls in the left behind friendship group are upset.

WWRD? Say something to school? Say something to parents of exbf (we are friends), or leave the dc to sort it out themselves? Apparently girls are crying each day and it all sounds like a hot mess.

DD has tried to talk to exbf and say how upset she is at the way she's acting, but exbf either airs DD or pretends she has no idea what she's done wrong. Of course she has!

Help...

I wouldn’t say a thing.

Friendships change as people grow, yes, it might not be nice, but you can’t force these girls to be friends with other girls just because they used to be.

As for invites to parties and stuff, that’s just life.

It’s not nice when people move on, but I’d be encouraging my daughter to make new friends and forget about the old ones.

(Might be a bit bad to say.....but I think crying daily about it is a bit much and at 15 they need to grow up a bit. And yes, I was bullied at school)

Oh goodness, friendship dramas are the worst and make us worry so much. My eldest went through some friendship issues and things started improving around end of year 9, beginning of year 10 and now everything is largely find. My youngest is in year 8 now and yes friendships issues are common, one minute she loves her 'squad' and the next she hates them and feels left out. She is a very glass half empty person so I am never sure if it is as bad as she describes. I try to encourage to join clubs etc just to expand her social group so when she hates everyone she has other people to talk to but she is reluctant. It does worry me but partly because of dd1's experiences. I would say all you can do is to keep being supportive and loving, encourage them to be positive and speak to others. I would also say that unless things take a turn for the worst, don't speak to your friend, it won't help your dd and may ruin your own relationship.
One last thought is that unfortunately, sometimes you just don't find your 'tribe' at school for whatever reason. You find them later in sixth form or at University. So the best thing you can do is find a group that you can rub along well enough with and bide your time......