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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

My birthday

30 replies

Lala105 · 04/05/2019 17:16

It's my birthday today. This morning, no card from DS 17 and no gift. I know he bought a gift because it arrived yesterday. He has a saturday job , I picked him up so that he could drive home (learning to drive). So we got home, he went upstairs and brought down the box - no wrapping paper and a card he had clearly just written in, not sealed and not written "mum" on the envelope. I told him that while the gift is great, there was no effort whatsoever in the presentation and couldn't he have just written "mum" on the outside of the envelope. He went into one and said what's the point in wrapping it only to rip the paper off - I said it showed that some thought had gone into it and giving me a gift in the cardboard box it came in, showed no thought at all. AIBU or should he have wrapped the present.

OP posts:
wobblebot · 04/05/2019 17:17

Be grateful he got you a card and gift?

hewontstopshitting · 04/05/2019 17:18

YABU, he got you a card and a present, that’s thoughtful

billybagpuss · 04/05/2019 17:20

At 17 I think he did well and he's probably now thinking you don't appreciate what he got. I don't think in the grand scheme of things it was worth the battle.

Romax · 04/05/2019 17:21

Oh op you revived a gift from your teenage son but because it wasn’t presented how you like it - you whinged at him. Bad move

billybagpuss · 04/05/2019 17:21

Happy birthday by the way, hope you have a lovely evening.

CupoTeap · 04/05/2019 17:22

Maybe next year you will get an envelope with mum on it, filled with wrapping paper.

Ragwort · 04/05/2019 17:23

It’s my birthday this week and I am setting my expectation of receiving anything from my 18 year old very low so that I won’t be disappointed Grin.

Saucery · 04/05/2019 17:24

I would have rolled my eyes inwardly but not said anything. He got you a present and a card, so what if it wasn’t wrapped? Happy birthday, anyway 🎂🥳😀

Heratnumber7 · 04/05/2019 17:31

I'm with your DS. Wrapping paper is just a waste of money and paper. And the card was obviously for you. Why do you need your name on the envelope?

DerbyRacer · 04/05/2019 17:59

I also agree about the paper being a waste of money. I think he did make an effort giving you a present and card. I think cards are a waste of money so always ask my ds to make one for me, even just a quick one using a piece of A4 paper. I really don't care about the presentation and I would be happy with only a card. But we are like that. If the presentation is important to you maybe it is good your ds now knows that.

GemmeFatale · 04/05/2019 18:03

Was the gift itself thoughtful?

raisinsraisins · 04/05/2019 18:07

I obviously have know expectations from my teenage DSs because I would be delighted to get any sort of card and present bought and organised by themselves.

raisinsraisins · 04/05/2019 18:08

low expectations

Futureisland · 04/05/2019 18:09

I think he's done well to get you a gift if he organised that all by himself. Whilst its nice for it to be wrapped up I wouldnt personally have made a fuss....just been thankful for the gift. Happy birthday x

chandylier · 04/05/2019 18:41

What’s the present?!

Doesn’t matter, he bought you a gift and a card! That’s amazing!

HoozTurnIsIT · 04/05/2019 18:44

I got a bunch of flowers that he'd bought the day before and they'd been in the boot of his car overnight. I was enthusiastically grateful.

Isadora2007 · 04/05/2019 18:47

Yabu. You are clearly missing the thought that counts part as he did think of you when buying it and giving it to you. You’ve been petty and ungrateful.

Buglife · 04/05/2019 19:43

Wrapping paper is just a waste of paper. He handed you a gift and a card he’s chosen and bought for you and you whinged at him because it didn’t look pretty enough for the 5 seconds it would take for you to unwrap it...

wijjjy · 05/05/2019 14:03

You have a go at someone for giving you a present not quite how you would like it.

And then have a go at them for thoughtlessness.

You are the thoughtless one here.

Trippedupagain · 05/05/2019 14:09

You say the gift was 'great' but you're unhappy with the presentation of it? He's 17 ffs. Be happy you have a present and go and apologise to him for being grumpy about it. He did pretty well I think. He bought you a present and a card. Happy Birthday!

BrokenWing · 05/05/2019 14:55

You owe your poor son a huge and genuine apology (with no but's or I felt).

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/05/2019 15:03

Why does it matter when he wrote on the card?

We don't use wrapping paper as it's such a waste, we reuse all gift bags. I wouldn't have minded no wrapping at all as it just goes straight into the recycling bin.

I'd have been chuffed to bits to get a present his Dad hadn't organised.

windysowindy · 05/05/2019 15:05

Wow. So he got you a card and a gift, got to his Saturday job and you pretty much picked on what you thought was wrong?
Poor him.

gamerchick · 05/05/2019 15:08

You owe your son an apology OP.

I never write on envelopes, nor do I stick them down so people can recycle them if they want. If someone whinged about it, I wouldn't bother with a card next time.

He organised a present to arrive on time. That's thoughtful from a teenager imo. Did you at least like the gift?

MrsMozartMkII · 05/05/2019 15:09

Go say thank you and mean it.