Splitting school uniform

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Can you tell me how many uniform items you have for your teenage boy?

I buy enough shirts, trousers and jumpers for a full clean uniform every day.

DS stays at his dads two nights per week, so in my view, at very least, the shirt he removes on a Monday night can easily be washed for him wearing on the Friday morning. Again, this leaves Thursdays uniform to be washed for wearing on Tuesday morning.

Yet again I've just had the text from DS to ask if there's a clean shirt here that he can collect tomorrow as ex doesn't have a clean one. Even though I'm sure I gave ex two shirts at the start of term, and in previous years he's said he's going to but his own extra which never materialise.

Getting really sick of this, so for the new term I will physically hand ex a 3 pack of shirts, one for each morning he has DS and a spare.

My question is, do I provide trousers and jumper, or do you think these can be worn a second time at 14? He does get pretty sweaty at the moment and I know he's very conscious of it. Not that he openly smells, but he's feeling it.

I just find it easier having all clean uniforms each day, saves a panic wash in an emergency.

But I really resent buying it all to hand over to his dad! Especially when I know it's unlikely to last a full year and I'll get no contribution to replacements. (Dad bought school jacket and bag last year, gives £100 a month, if relevant).

Thanks

Can his dad not buy some? Is there an agreement on how it is split?
I've bought tons of uniform so far this year for kids I have no responsibility for other than at school, so he should be able to buy bits if uniform for his own son surely.

Yeah that's really annoying. Can't you just reply no, put a wash on now and it will be ready for the morning though?

DS3 (third teenage son, not three years old) wears a clean shirt every day. Trousers last 1-3 days depending on how wet & muddy the roads are when he is cycling. He doesn't wear a jumper.

A very quick cycle and it will be ready for tomorrow.

Sorry, his dad bought his jacket and bag this year, I meant.

I just know his dad is of the opinion that he's already doing his bit buying the jacket and bag, especially when he already gives me maintenance and pays a club fee, which maybe others agree on?

I probably wouldn't even be so bothered getting it all if I thought he could at least manage to make sure it's clean when DS needs it.

Now, I need to get up and iron a clean shirt and DS needs to come here to get it. He should just be able to get to school, clean, and with everything he needs, from both homes surely?

I know it's a shitty rant, in the scheme of things. But the same type of thing happens with football kit and I feel like ex just thinks he doesn't have time for such mundane parenting chores sometimes.

Can ds bring his shirts back in his bag after each visit or as pp say wash them overnight?

Yes, but it's DS who texts me asking about the shirt, not his dad. Then he's saying I don't need to iron it, he'll have a jumper on, because he knows it shouldn't be down to me

Don't j is if ex asked him to text me. And I couldn't be arsed texting ex and getting more annoyed.

Just told DS I would have it sorted for him

I don't think it's a shitty rant at all, I think you're right to be annoyed. And it's not fair on ds for his dad to do that and for him to have to try and sort it out

Thanks @ASauvignonADay

@shouldwestayorshouldwego
He already has so much to carry, and then that's totally letting ex off the hook with his responsibilities too.

He wouldn't do them at this time of night. Baby in the house, in bed already, so busy, etc. (This is he type of reply I imagine)

I'm going to text ex tomorrow and ask what he thinks the plan should be for uniform next year because I'm not doing this anymore.

I would total the uniform cost
Then split it equally shows PE jitteriness jacket trousers - all of it so he sees the cost

Ask him to buy 3 shirts and 2 trousers and 2 jumpers socks and pants for his house

Just a thought but what does X do either he dirty shirt etc? Does it actually get washed or does he send it to you to sort?

I'd be annoyed about the shirts but I don't believe they need a clean pair of trousers every day.
Mine have one pair. If it's not visibly dirty it only gets washed at the weekend.
I wouldn't dream of wearing clean trousers every day myself either. It's so bad for the environment - only wash it when you need to.

@GreenTulips he'll wash it eventually.

@FreeTedHastings although DS has more than one set, i still only wash it once a week.

I am not saying ex shouldn't do it but if he isn't going to then sending a spare and getting the first back will save them going AWOL. Alternatively can you persuade your 14yr old to wash his own stuff while there. It should dry overnight - not tonight obviously but if he gets in the habit of rinsing it through when he gets in each evening.

I don't mind when they occasionally go awol due to change in nights/school holidays etc. Of course that happens. But I know he's got the one from Monday over there, he's just not bothered/organised enough to have washed it for tomorrow.

And no, I won't have DS do it. I know some will disagree with that and say he's old enough. He's a good kid and does his bit. But to go to his dads and have to handwash his school stuff twice a week when the adults are doing each other's and the baby's? I don't think that's fair.

I should say, this isn't a weekly occurrence, but it's far more regular than it should be.