CAMHS appointment tomorrow

[minimeandhermum]

My DD (14) has a long awaited CAMHS appointment tomorrow. As far as I'm concerned, she's blatantly depressed and has been for a couple of years. It's significantly affecting her at school, and she's just not doing any of the things that she really wants to do. And then beating herself up. I'm on my own with her and struggling.

I have such high hopes for this appointment. I hope they'll give us a formal diagnosis so I can say she's depressed with some back up rather than sounding like a paranoid mum. School might then take us more seriously. I'm hoping they'll consider putting her on antidepressants as it feels like we've tried everything else.

But then I'm worried I'll get upset, or not get my point across, or she'll just clam up. Has anyone got any experience or tips that might help?

DD has been seeing a private counsellor for a couple of years. We're going to have to tell them that, but someone once hinted that we should avoid mentioning it, as they might just cross us off the list for help. But I really want to try a fresh approach or a new counsellor. Any views?

Thank you in advance xx

Write it all down tonight - maybe start by dumping all your thoughts about it on paper - examples of when and how this depression has manifested itself, your worries, her history (what she was like before, when you noticed changes etc). Then take that and a bullet point version so you can remember what you wanted to say in brief). Also take notes there so you can process it afterwards. Nothing more frustrating than realising you forgot to say something important or what was said during! Good luck

Just be aware that lots of CAMHS don't like giving a diagnosis as they want to avoid "labelling" the child. They seem to prefer to call depression "low mood" which unfortunately schools really do not take seriously.

Also do you know who the appointment is with? Only a psychiatrist can prescribe anti-depressants and if this is your very first appointment at CAMHS it is unlikely to be with a psychiatrist.

Be prepared to be persistent OP. It took us 3 years to get a diagnosis of depression and a prescription for antidepressants. I echo what's been said before, write down what you want to say and take notes. I have a special notebook where I wrote all this stuff.

Good luck OP

What I meant to say, that notebook, o took it to all meetings with CAMHS, the school, I also took notes on any phone calls, and at times kept a kind of diary of DS's moods etc. It was very useful to always have everything to hand.

I would be cautious about expecting a diagnosis and meds in a first appointment. As someone has already said, camhs are cautious about labelling and confirming a diagnosis usually takes time. First line recommended treatment for depression is not medication, rather an evidence based talking therapy such as CBT.
First appointments are usually about trying to build up a picture of what is going on for your child and what is contributing to low mood. Tell them about the counsellor it won’t stop them from offering treatment and will show that you have already tried counselling, so alternate talking therapy should be looked at- or the reasons why counselling hasn’t worked will be thought about,
Good luck.

It's a very long road.
My dd started self harming in June last year. She took and overdose in sept 2018. She is 13. Cahms became involved in Oct and she has currently had 4 sessions with a therapist since Jan 2019. We have another 4 booked but they are every two weeks. No medication and no diagnosis as yet. Lots being talked about but no real answers or solutions yet.

Thank you so much everyone. I will revise my expectations so I'm not too disappointed tomorrow. And make notes / start a notebook.

DD also started self-harming - around 18 months ago now. She was seen in A&E and got referred to CAMHS back then, but after one appointment she never received a follow up, we'd started private counselling and were told CAMHS wouldn't do any more than that anyway.

It's such a long road! As an adult I've self-referred and have a wonderful CBT therapist with hardly any waiting list. Shame the kids can't access the same help

Hi OP have you talked to her about what's going on? Whether you call it low mood or depression it isn't an illness that can be cured with a pill - it's a sign she's finding life hard. As a mum it's terrifying to realise that no-one can fix the problem but also really empowering as your relationship with your dd can make all the difference in the world. Love, support and understanding are the main things.

Yes we do talk about it - I'm the only one she really talks to, other than her counsellor as she finds it really awkward. I've been struggling myself due to this and other factors, so have had help for myself, and I'm employing loads of hints from that to help her. Everyone says I'm really good at this, and I think I am too! But I'm not a miracle worker, and it's just not working well enough. It's gone on too long, and she feels like she's watching her GCSE / future career prospects fading away. Bit of a ramble, but this is why I'm pushing for more help.

I really sympathise. I have one dd with depression and anxiety and one with ADHD. The older one is now 18 and her problems started at 12/13. It's so hard and exhausting too...I am single mum so there's no-one to take over when I'm overwhelmed. I said to the psychiatrist today they should offer more support to mums! How did your appointment go?

How did your apt go today op

It went really well - and really helped that I wasn't hoping for a diagnosis! We got our point across, and they seemed to take it seriously. We'll get a call next week, but we're probably going to have a joint appointment with a doctor at some point, maybe CBT and/or group sessions on low mood. Thank you everyone

That's great op. See if there is a DBT programme in your area. It really helped in our case with the self harm.

Glad it went well. CBT is good for low mood and can certainly focus on self harm. Hope she gets the help she needs x