DD 14 shoplifting

[MaryJaneConnor]

I know my DD 14 is shoplifting- mainly make up as I’ve found it in her room. I have confronted her and she just shrugs and says ‘so what?’

I blame myself as I used to shop lift myself and she knows this. I was going through a mental break down and am now very remorseful.

I’ve explained it’s wrong and I was also wrong and ill at the time.

I’ve done all the usual punishments such as confiscating phone and banning WiFi etc

She just doesn’t care so I’m wondering if maybe it’s better to wait till she’s caught and can deal with the consequences herself?

You need to sit her down and have a chat with her. tell her that if she doesn't stop it now, she will either get caught and face the consequences or you will turn her in as she needs to learn. whether you actually decide to do this or not is your choice but I think she needs something to scare her into stopping. tell her what the consequences are if she is caught ( link ).

you could also sign her up for volunteering work at a local charity shop, so she can learn the value of work and the effort it takes to work in a shop. many charity shops will take on a girl of her age.

all the best x

My mum would have called the police on me and have them round for the chat.... the thought petrified me so I never did it!

Ok thanks both, I think I will tell her I have plans to call the Police if she does it again

You've confiscated all the stuff she stole, right? If you haven't made her take it back to the shop, then send it to Give and Makeup:
www.carolinehirons.com/page-give-and-makeup

ds would never consider shoplifting as he knows I'd march him straight back to the shop with his swag.

At 14 she knows it wrong and doesn't need it explaining. If she isn't responding to either your anger, disappointment or punishments then time to get tough as she thinks you are a walkover and too afraid/ashamed to take it further.

How long was the phone confiscated/wifi off for? Have you taken her back to the shop with her stolen stuff? Taken her in and told the school and asked them for support? How would she feel about family, friends (or friends parents) knowing she is a thief and seeing their disappointment in her? What have you done with the stuff she has stolen? Return to the shop and make her pay for it. Any activities she does that can be stopped until she has paid for the stuff she stole?

I would have zero tolerance for stealing and be mad if ds showed no remorse and although I wouldn't report to the police directly (the shop owner might but that the risk she took) I would definitely take her back to the shop and make her face up to it.

I have confiscated it but wasn’t sure what to do with it so thank you for the link