Dick pics

[Mof3K]

Dd2 aged 14 went to a sleep over on Friday night. 3 girls who apparently talked and giggled all night. Clearly not....

I always take the phone off her at night to charge downstairs and i often have a glance through it as we've had issues with her in the past.

Anyway it turns out she spent the sleep over taking turns on a vape with the other girls and talking to a teen age boy ( 14 ) on Instagram who also sent a couple of dick pics !! The way she was talking to him was so rude and sexual i was embarrassed!

I have confiscated the phone and asked her about it. She says she doesn't know why she did the vape and im over reacting about the dick pic. Which by the way the boy clearly got from google cos there is no way that nob is his!

She's furious I've taken her phone, told me " it's not a big deal and it hasnt affected you mum so why am are you taking my stuff away"!!!!

I've ended up shouting at her this evening that im ashamed of her as her behaviour is awful. Ive told her it's illegal to have these images on her phone but she doesnt seem to care at all.
Wwyd ??

I'd be taking her phone to the school to show them. This is one occasion where my DD's pleas to me would hold no weight whatsoever.

Can you see that perhaps your DD's lack of boundaries are a reflection of your own inability to know what to do here or to act resolutely?

Many boys seem to send dick pics to every girl they know and nobody bats an eyelid. But my dd has told me of girls who have been persuaded by a boy to send a topless picture or a nude and then have been devastated when these have been shared without their consent. These poor girls are talked about in a way in which the boys aren't.*

This is very true and exactly why I said in my PP I would be concerned about this.
The fact that a 14yr old boy is sending messages asking to f**k is also troubling. His parents need to be made aware of this. That’s a revolting way to speak to someone and if he thinks it’s acceptable now, what will he be like when he is 16/17/18?!?!

Sorry major bold failure there!!

School should be involved, and parents made aware. DD is probably not the only one to have been sent such pictures.

I am a man, and I would not presume the pictures were from the internet. I am old enough to be one of the generation to have had open school showers after PE, and even in those days some boys were very well developed at that age.

Hi OP, I work in this area and you need to report it to the school or a police.

You might have a worker come and do some sessions on healthy relationships and boundaries with her. His behaviour is sexually harmful, he needs some help too.

As an aside, do not shame her for it, he was as much to blame.