Underage teens and sex,help???

[agalch]

Really would appreciate advice from anyone. Ds1 and his gf have been together for 15 months(ds1 is 16 in Sept and gf is 16 in Jan). Very close and very much in love they say.

Have always been open with ds about all subjects,sex drugs etc. Has told me they are def not having sex and are waiting till they are at least 16 which i was relieved and happy about.

They have just come back from a holiday with gf's parents and he told me that they had sex twice. I feel sick about it And worse it was unprotected. He said he withdrew in plenty of time so not much chance of her being pregnant. Really ds1???

Always told him that if he had to have sex to make sure he and she were protected etc but now he has done it i have told him he must not do it again!!!

What should i do now,feel as though he is at least he came and told me and asked for help/advice but im fizzing they were so bloody stupid.Do i ban her from coming here and hope they don't do anything or point him in the direction of a young persons centre where they can get contraception and help/advice?

Bit of a ramble,sorry x

aqalch, you've done exactly the right thing in not flipping - this way you'll keep the channels open. You sound like you have a great relationship with your ds, and he seems to have a great one with his girlfriend - hope my dd's first boyfriend is as nice, and has as nice and sensible a mother as you. She's 15, has been asked out but doesn't think any of the boys in her school are mature enough to fancy yet. I try to think of myself as being very open-minded, but I know I shall feel odd if/when the day comes that she starts dating and then doing You Know What. I'll feel like my little baby has finally grown up, and I shall mourn her passing. So I understand you feeling odd.

agalch
My dd is 14, and I continually tell her that if there is anything she feels she can't talk to me about, I would rather she went to someone who loves her for guidance/advice, rather than keep things inside.

If I was gf's mum, whilst I'd share your disappointment - and possibly be a bit jealous that they felt able to talk to you and not me - I'd be very happy that you were there for my dd.

And regardless of what your rl friends think, I feel you've got this spot on!

Agalch, I hope that when the time comes I will behave/react as well as you have (but I suspect I will jump in at the deep end and scream and shout hysterically, because that's what I do!).