14 year old PFB has a boyfriend- rules?

[Hoppinggreen]

Hi
This is new Territory so I was hoping some of hands could share what rules (if any) they had in place for their teen and boyfriend/girlfriend?
Dd is 14 and quite mature but also a bit quiet and shy. She has had a friend who is a boy for years (well quite a few Male friends ) but they lost touch a bit when they went to different schools in Y7. For the last 6 months or so they have been talking a lot online but she always denied they were anything other than friends and as she has lots of Male friends I didnt see any reason to doubt it. He turned up at an event we were at on Monday night (he did have a tenuously reason to be there) and they had a hug as we were leaving. Yesterday DD told me he is actually her boyfriend ( no great surprise). He turned up at DS School yesterday when we went to collect him and then dd asked if he could come to our house for a bit. I was fine with that and they stayed in the lounge, chaperoned by DS who is adores the boyfriend probably more than dd even does.
Thanks for reading so far -question is what are the rules for being upstairs in her room? What about if they go to his house? I vaguely know him Mum and he’s a lovely boy from a nice family who seems to treat her with respect but I do think we need to have some rules - or do we? I tried to discuss boundaries with dd last night but she just said she’s not “like that” and I should trust her
Any advice from people who’ve had teens dating would be great as I’m trying to be relaxed about it and not weird and embarrassing but obviously I need to consider her welfare as well .
For context I was sexually active at her age ( not full sex) but did feel coerced in order to be popular and fit in so I’m probably projecting somewhat as she’s very different to me.

My dd is 15 she will be 16 in July she goes to her bf house quite a lot and I have never met him saw a few photos so I know what he looks like. I told her they are both underage but if they do have sex to tell me or if they planning to, to use protection. She said they are not like that its only kissing and hug is as far as they go. I trust her and hope that they both make good decisions. I don't think a parent telling a teen not to have sex is going to work if they are going to do it they will wheter we want them to or not. This is only her second bf and first boy was only 14 and they only kissed and hugged so she seems sensible. They don't go to boys bedroom just the sitting room but if they did come to mine I wouldn't be against them been in bedroom as we have other kids using sitting room so they need somewhere to go for privacy.

I'm in the same situation with DD14 and to be honest I'm utterly bored of hearing about him. He's offered that I meet his parents (separated) but I simply don't want to.

His mother has a very bad track record of blaming everyone but him for his poor behavior.

Last time they split up he bad mouthed her and created a real drama. He and DD are both drama llamas.

DD1 thinks he won't be forever, and I don't want to have to meet every boyfriends family for the next 25 years.

He is really really pushing for her to hang out at his and I've said no but he won't stop pushing for it.

We don't allow boys in bedrooms here. We have 3 teen girls and she's the eldest. DH doesn't want him in our home and the one time he did come DH went out for the day with his 2 kids. In my view that wasn't v helpful.

Whatever the eldest does sets the precedent for the other 3.

Close family friends have found themselves in a fait accompli with their 14yo son being encouraged to sleep over at his 14 yo gfs house. Not keen on the same thing happening. DH would be deeply unhappy. And frankly I'm not going against him on this one.

Oh dear wally that sounds difficult
Fortunately for us I have know this boy since he was 7 and I vaguely know his parents ( who are nice too), which is good
Definitely NO sleepovers in the near (or distant) future

I have a similar situation. We don’t have rules, but have talked lots about consent, the fact they are both under age. Well we talk and she listens.
My main thing is to keep lines of communication open. He’s always at ours which I find a bit much, but I’m not going to object.

Before 16 they stayed downstairs, after 16 allowed upstairs, from 17 stayed over in spare room, 18 in her room.

I wouldn't allow him into her bedroom, not at any age. When it comes to her visiting his house, I'd be looking for verbal assurances from his mother that they will be supervised the whole time.

I just got a phone call (still at work) from my daughter (15) to ask could she have a sleepover at her friends house only just a new friend I don't know her and the rule I have is no sleepover at anyone's house. This friend lives in same estate as my dd's bf so I think I know what would happen they would all spend the night in her bf's as it is only his dad there and sometimes he is away. She only with her bf 2.5 months so way to soon. She promising she will go to the girls house. I told her I would collect her at 1am after dd2 comes home from teen disco.

I'm surprised we have not been flamed. Many MNetters seem to have been sexually active at 14 and few seem to think it was too young. Apologies if that seems like a generalization or offends. I had a recent thread about Dd hanging out with an 18 yo and it was pointed out that we were both being naive.

His 16th bday is in a couple of weeks and I'm very worried that sex would be his perfect present.

They have national exams this year then they'll be in separate schools. Over the summer my DDs will be away for 6 weeks so it's just the next 2 months. But 2 months st that age seems like a long time.

To be honest DD seems to be handling it well. And I'd like to be cool mum especially as I want to make sure she's on contraception before anything happens. But I'm not going down that alley until she asks.