DS obsessively washing his hands

[cakedup]

DS(14) is going through a 500ml bottle of handwash a week and is also obsessively changing his clothes.

He went through similar (just the handwashing) when he was about 9, had some CBT counselling through CAMHS. Didn't really take to it but the hand washing got better anyway, don't think it was the CBT as he wasn't really using it.

He currently sees a counsellor at school for his anxiety and has been so much better recently, his counsellor and school have noticed how much more confident and relaxed he has been. His insomnia also improved. So it's strange that he has started becoming obsessive.

When it first started, I ignored it as it caused minimal disruption and I didn't want to make a big thing about it but it's starting to get out of hand. I told his school counsellor last week as she had no idea, and is going to address it after the Easter holidays. However, I'm not convinced a bit of talking therapy is going to help. It's getting quite severe.

For example, this evening he decided that none of his clothes in his cupboard were clean enough so took a pair of completely wet tracksuit bottoms from the laundry line and wore them. I feel terrible as I've just had a bit of a go at him for that, saying I really cannot cope with the laundry this is creating and insisted he take off the wet clothes. I put my foot down a bit but feel terrible that I might have added to the shame of it?

I can't even ask him to help with chores anymore because I know it'll just give him another reason to wash his hands. His hands are red and sore (I've started replacing the normal handwash with Aveeno bodywash without him realising).

He told me the other day that he hates being like this and asked if there was any medication to just stop it . Sometimes he needs me to reassure him that he doesn't need to wash his hands after a certain activity.

A friend of mine is a hypnotherapist and has offered to help but he hates the idea of hypnotherapy (we've tried it before).

Has anyone else had DC go through this and what helped?

We have been through this with my son when he was also 14. At the worst point he was spending 4 hours a day on rituals and hand washing. It was definitely related to anxiety. He was also on stimulants for his ADHD which exacerbated his anxiety and OCD. Also it seems that once the hormones kick in at puberty the effects on their brains can be unpredictable especially if they already have issues. We didn’t wait for CAMHS. We went to a psychologist who concentrated on reducing his anxiety. I also got his school to remove all academic pressure and homework. Little things like not filling up the soaps helped once he was over the worst. We also tried to get him to substitute actions for the things he felt compelled to do I.e every time he felt that he had to run up and down the stairs he would punch his punchbag. Also, getting him to slightly delay the compulsions, even by 10 seconds, showed him that he could learn to control his actions. We are now 6 months past the worst time. The rituals have completely gone although his ADHD and anxiety still cause him problems. It’s so hard. I really sympathise as it’s so hard to watch them struggling but it is definitely treatable. We didn’t need to try medication but if the behavioural stuff hadn’t helped my next step was Sertraline.
Good luck and I hope things improve for your son.

Hi. My son has had some problems on and off with OCD but got turned down by CAHMS. I got a book off the internet called 'what to do when your brain gets stuck' and have found it really helpful. It's maybe for younger children but I think it's really good at explaining why the problem is occurring and suggests working on one issue at a time. Like the other poster said, it's looking at small steps such as delaying and trying to increase the time not doing the compulsion etc. This might be useful while you are trying to get him seen. The cbt may be more effective now he's a bit older and will be able to understand it better. The author of that book is Dawn Heubner and I think she has a variety of books on ocd and anxiety.

Ramanama so glad your DS is over the worst. Also it seems that once the hormones kick in at puberty the effects on their brains can be unpredictable especially if they already have issues. Yes, that makes sense to me, I think the hormones heighten feelings in general. DS is profoundly dyslexic so always had a problem with academics and I made sure the pressure was removed a long time ago, as well -being always came first. The counselling seems to have helped with this though, for the first time in many years, he recently expressed how proud he was of a particular piece of work at school, that's a huge breakthrough for him. Substituting actions and 10 second delays are excellent ideas, thank you.

PJ67 I have just ordered the book, anything that might help is welcome. And yes, CBT may be more effective now that he is older and can understand how the process works, that's a good point. I'm not sure his counsellor is trained to deliver CBT, I will ask her. The problem with now going to CAHMS is that because he is already seeing a counsellor at school, they won't like to double up on therapy. And he is really happy with his school counsellor.

It's just me and him at home and I'm just not the best person to approach this most of the time, as he is going through a stage where he just doesn't want my help with anything and I often get "just forget it".

I've noticed a new OCD habit now. Clean cutlery that has been left to dry on the rack, keep appearing back in the sink!