Teens meeting other teens you don't know...

[homedecornovice]

My 14 and a half year old ds has started meeting up with some of his school friends and has mentioned some girls that are also meeting up with them that go to another school. I'm trying to come across as 'cool' about this and not asking too much as he gets a bit embarrassed but I do feel a bit uncomfortable about him hanging out with people I know absolutely nothing about! I have said to him he can bring them home anytime, but at the moment they are meeting up once a week or so at the nearest town where they all go to school (we live in a village). He is my PFB and no trouble at the moment, but this is all new to me! What's the best way to proceed?

He's 14. He needs a bit of privacy, surely? Did your own dm helicopter around wanting to know everywhere you went and everyone you spent any time with?

I don't get it, your 14yo is meeting new people. That's generally a good sign. You don't need to know everything about their friends at this stage, you spend the previous years teaching them how to judge people, not to be led, to stand up for themselves and that they can always come home.

Thank you for bringing me to my senses. I know everything you say is true but part of me feels a little bit irresponsible - that he's meeting 'strangers' (to me)!

home I get you. I was a little shit at 14 so was very protective over dd1 when she was that age?

Do you know wheee they are?

You don’t necessary know the kids they hang round with at school though.

You have to have faith that you taught them well and they can smell a wrong one a mile off - deep breath.

It’s a normal part of growing up isn’t it? Meeting new people?

You have to have faith that you taught them well and they can smell a wrong one a mile off - deep breath

Yes, this is the part where all those lessons you've installed in them come into play. Basically you need to trust your parenting.

It's a funny age, you have to start letting loose of the strings a bit so they can be a person apart from you.

This is part of keeping him safe: letting him develop his own judgement while still in a relatively protected environment (he comes home to you at night, can presumably ring you at any time if a situation looks dodgy), Would you rather he went off to university without any of that practice?

And if they all go to school in the neighbouring town, how do you vet the people he meets at school?