Girls Sleepovers- what’s the norm?

[lifestooshortandsoami]

I’m of the view that teen girl sleepovers will be chatty, giggly and a bit daft- I’m happy for dd (13) to have sleepovers and for them to be a bit daft as long as they don’t disturb her younger brother (7) and they go to sleep at an ok time.
Dh however gets really irritated if they get giggly and daft (they’re in her room) and seems to expect them to be quiet- not whisper - but talk very quietly and watch tv from 9 and be asleep 10/11?
I feel he’s being too harsh and doesn’t really understand what girls behave like but he thinks I’m being soft and has threatened they’re won’t be any more sleepovers if she can’t behave (I don’t feel they’re misbehaving!).
So what others views on what is acceptable behaviour of girls this age on a sleepover? I’m happy to be told I’m being too soft if I am!

As long as they are not disturbing parents or siblings who are trying to sleep it's fine. If people are still making noise late at night I would be going in the with warnings.

Having said that, apart from a 10th birthday party sleepover in a tent in the garden which was a nightmare, I would usually only have one extra child sleepover at a time. Realistically if there's a group the noise and silliness are going to increase.

I had 6 early teens last weekend & left them to it after food & sweets etc. They went to bed around 10 pm. A couple went to sleep at 11pm, another 3 am and 2 more at 4 am. Then one woke at 6 am and latest at 9.30 am. They all were polite, friendly, giggling & happy. TV was on low most of the night. They had fun, we had a hassle free evening. I’d say, leave them to it.

I work on the principle that if they’re tired, they won’t stay up quite so late the next time. It’s actually quite an important lesson for them.

Our sleepovers are usually watching a movie until 10, then they go to the room and there is general giggling and silliness. They stay up far too late, but I feel that this age is about wanting to stay up late! I want my DD and her friends to have fun, and they are either watching tv, ot being silly in room, all perfectly fine with me

I think stopping watching tv around 10, then another hour or two of giggles, chatting ...

Being giggly and silly is what sleep overs are all about from my perspective. I’d expect them to be quietish from 11/12, watching a film and calming down but that’ll probably take a few tries as they’re excited and need to get used to the sleep over idea

Thank you.

It’s 1 extra child, laughing and giggling and I think dancing around. Not waking younger brother and I can’t even hear them from the room I’m in. Dh is downstairs so below the room they’re in however so can hear them dancing round (very thin floor/ ceiling so it cN sound like a herd of elephants to be fair) and says making too much noise- he’s just watching tv.
Dh getting more and more annoyed at it- when he could just come upstairs to where I am and you can’t hear them and watch tv? I don’t think it’s massivley late as yet either?

To be honest I feel they’re just having fun!
They’re not being naughty or damaging anything- and they’re not being that noisy.

One of my best friends is very loud when drunk (and laughs very loudly) so I’m sure when she and her dh come round we all make a lot more noise downstairs than the girls are doing at the moment!

I think dh struggles with teens in general? He seemed fine up til the last yr and now gets more and more stressed with the teens!!

I highly doubt they will go to sleep at 10pm, the whole fun of sleepovers is staying up really late chatting! But you could always ask them to do their dancing before 10pm if that's making the noise.

JakeBallardswife- I agree that it’s an important lesson re being too tired and realising for next time!
Dd is usually really sensible and on previous sleepovers she’s been asleep around midnight- I’ve never had to ask them to be quiet after this time- so I think we’re lretty lucky really?!!

girl sleepovers are my nightmare....had a few with my DD and swore never again...some go to sleep, others sit up chatting, some fall out...its the low level chatting and giggling that keeps me up and when parents arrive the next day its like a scene out of the shining and that is just me never mind the emotional girls... good luck

My 13 yo has sleepovers pretty much every weekend, at ours or at friends. The numbers vary from one to 12 (challenging but a birthday!) and they follow pretty much same routine. Make up/fortnight/YouTube/dancing around eating pizza and other crap and falling asleep anytime between 11 and 2. All usually up and out by 10-11. I actually think he’s being really unreasonable. My DH was similar (grumpy old man) but I made him bear it! It is her home and her down time and it doesn’t have to affect him - he’s choosing to be inconsiderate. Friendships are THE MOST IMPORTANT THING in her life at the moment and he should be able to facilitate her enjoying them. They’ll grow out of them and, if he’s not careful, his inability to accommodate pretty innocent activities will affect their relationship moving forward.

I normally ask them to tramp around brushing teeth and getting into sleeping bags whenever we're off to bed, usually around 11pm, and to keep noise down from that time onwards as we want to sleep. They watch movies usually or sometimes have to be told again to shut up if they wake me up, but not often. I haven't policed them actually going to sleep from the age of about 10 or 11.