teenagers swearing

[billsnewhat]

My 13 year old is full of anger and hormonal at the moment I think her periods are close to starting. Like all girls her age she often tells me and her dad she hates us and its not fair but when she gets angry she now swears at us - however I do not and still have not reacted - her dad goes absolutely mad at her and they get into a huge battle which tonight lasted 90 minutes. I walk away and sometimes she follows me and she can be quite verbally abusive for about 10 minutes. She then gives up and later apologises and asks for a hug. She knows it is wrong but I know she doesn't actually mean what she says. I think the ignoring works because by not reacting you aren't creating a battle. Who is right here??

No point arguing when they are like this. Beat to ignore and talk when they are calm. I have a 13 year old too - boy.

A potty mouth is not the worse thing in my opinion as long as that doesn’t extend to swearing all the time and in front of everyone. I always say to
Mine if you are going to swear do it in the house and mine
Are younger that you daughter.

Oh dear, OP. I have one sweary one (17) and one non-sweary one (15). I never, ever swear in front of the DC. Every time the 17 yo swears, I remind him, yet again, not to say things in front of me that I don't say in front of him. I am still waiting for this message to go in. 15 yo does swear, but only with her friends. Generally, there is no point going head to head with a teenager about anything unless it's life-threatening. It's like trying to reason or argue with a toddler.

You have to learn to pick your battles with teens. Potty mouth with those closest to her isn’t the worst thing in the world. I’ve accepted that my nearly 16 year old has a really horrible attitude a lot of the time, I’m not arguing over every eye roll and mumbled comment, it’s not worth it. Teen years are hard for parents and kids. Good luck 😉

I have a money jar.
If I hear any swearing I put money in the jar which is just for me to treat myself with.

That really riles him, even though he's not actually lost anything and I would treat myself anyway.

Old That's brilliant! I'm stealing it. The idea, not your money jar :D

Ours never did the old "I hate you / you don't understand / I MAY AS WELL BE DEAD!!" and all that carry on but if they had, we'd have shrugged and probably taken away every privilege i.e. phone or online access.

As for the swearing we're a family / house that runs on swears and slurs but it's only within our home and with the exception of a very few words I can't stand and won't have people say.

We all get hacked off, moody and irritable it's normal and I don't mind the language that can sometimes follow a very pissed off someone but I won't be sworn at. My daughter can be shocking when she's due and can get a bit shouty, short-fused and impatient which I allow to a certain degree but when it starts tipping the scale more towards her being a little shit she's quickly reined in and told to just stop talking before she and I end up really falling out.

That's across the board though I won't tolerate anyone swearing at me in temper be it the kids, colleagues, friends or neighbours.

Seems weird considering the language that does get thrown around but to be sworn in temper is the height of disrespect.