hiding packed lunches

[Sami544]

Need advice. Lovely ds now 12yrs takes a packed lunch to school and has £10 a week for snacks etc and canteen lunch on a Fri. This was his choice so can him the choice of food from home and school.
Wraps, juice cartons snacks fruit etc
However whilst changing beds today I found a weeks worth of pack lunch under his bed. arrrrrgggg.
This happened once before and I said lets talk if you want to change how we do lunches or want something different. Don't mind pizza, cakes etc etc sometimes but not every day from school.
Want him to have independence but also to try and make some healthy choices as well.
Also want to feel he is eating enough during the week to keep him going at school. He also cycles 2 miles each way to get there.

any ideas????

Have you ruled out an eating disorder?
What happened last time this happened?

I'm sorry i can't really help as mine is only little at the moment, but your post brought back my memories of secondary school and hiding/binning my lunch almost every day.

I didn't have an eating disorder, and my mum made lovely thoughtful lunches, I was just too busy at lunchtime with my friends and I was young enough to have bags of energy even without eating lunch. I never really thought about it until my mum found and out and got really upset, and i couldn't see what the problem was. Not very helpful, I know, but I just wanted to say that sometimes the answer is 'they just aren't very hungry'. Maybe make him do his own lunch in the morning, so he's more invested?

he loves his food so dont think it is an eating disorder as he will certainly buy pizza, cakes, chicken goujons etc.

last time we had a chat together, calmly and he said he would make sure he ate it.
Want to try and be calm but no point in preparing a lunch at home if he does not like or eat it. I can imagine he would get carried away playing football at lunch and forget it. Especially if he has had a cake/pizza etc at break time.

Don't give him money for snacks.

Our school
Has a card system, parents can see what was brought. We have an agreement of snacks and one lunch but if packed lunches aren't eaten the snack mo eu goes, if she doesn't make healthy choices on the meal that goes.

Eating disorder and not liking food is not the same thing, he could very well be struggling with his eating even if he seems to like snacks and whatnot. I would definitely keep an eye out.

What does he do at lunch? My son stopped eating lunch because he likes to play football or go in ict suite...we compromised and he eats lunch at break then has something when he gets home.

just give enough money for snacks or better still no money

Let him eat at school. Why wouldn't you he is cycling a lot so just let him eat what he wants

This happened with my dd, around about the same age, when she was in year 7 or 8. I was cleaning her room & found about a weeks worth of packed lunches (possibly more) the fruit had started to go mouldy. I was horrified & disgusted.

I didn't go off on one. I just couldn't figure you out why she wanted to hide it & not chuck it out at school? When she got home I had a chat with her. At first she said it was because she didn't like what was in her packed lunches (she did have odd days when we'd top up her account for hot dinners but most days she was pack lunch) then she said she just didn't feel hungry, which I didn't believe as she ate & still does like a horse. She said she didn't know why she was hiding her food. I asked her was it because she would feel guilty if she threw it in the bin & she said yes. I asked her what she'd rather have in her pack lunch. She said not as much fruit as it goes off it's it a warm day, ok, fair point & we worked out what she'd rather have.

I did though get a carrier bag full of all the food i found & got her to put it in the bin. She didn't want to do it, didn't like doing it & yes it made her feel guilty. I also said to her hiding food would encourage spiders to take up home in her bedroom!

I haven't come across anything since then. That's not to say she eats everything we pack for her but she does say what she does & doesn't like as in sandwiches or wraps.