Walking home alone in the dark?

[onedayallthiswillbeyours]

This is a bit of an AIBU really, but I'm too scared to post it there!!! My eldest DD will be 17 later this year. She has a part time job at a local pub/restaurant and occasionally has shifts that finish late (11pm ish). The pub is 2 mins fast walk from home, down a country lane (1min) and then across and along the main A-road (another min or so). The whole route, although very short, is rural, unlit and gets very, very dark on a moonless night, and I worry so much about her walking home alone. However,
DD is an independent type and refuses to let me meet her to walk her home. She gets very cross about it if I even suggest it!

We have currently reached a begrudgingly accepted (by her) compromise that she will text me when she is leaving work so that I know she is on her way.

Am I really being as "ridiculously over protective" as she seems to think I am?? Would you be ok with your 16 year old walking that short distance alone at night?

Mine used to phone me and either chat or just have their phone with the call open in their pocket.

I honestly don't think you are being ridiculously overprotective! You've mentioned that the route home is rural, unlit and is down a country lane so I would be worried as well. I think it's a natural reaction.

At that age I used to be a bit of a wimp about walking places late at night (to be honest I still am) but I'm such an anxious person anyway, so it's great your daughter is being independent.

It's a good idea to have her text you when she's leaving work so then at least you know when to expect her coming home

Yes, I’d be fine with a 16 year old doing a 2 minute walk at 11pm. And do would my DC.

Is the problem the walk or her age? Would you walk it alone in the dark?

That's a good point brokenwings. I think the walk itself is dangerous for anyone at that time of night purely because it is dark and narrow with no proper pavement for a 30 second section. I would (and have) walked it alone but always with a torch and being very alert to cars approaching so I can squash in against the wall. I can only trust that DD takes the same precautions and have asked her not to walk with headphones in and to make sure she has her phone torch on. She does not take kindly to me reminding her of these things because it means I don't trust her not that I care about her and want her to be safe.

When I used to babysit at a similar age, we had a system of giving 3 rings to let people know I was leaving/had arrived safely, and I suppose texting is the modern version of that. I used to hate walking home in the dark and would peg it along the high street as fast as my legs would carry me 🤣

2 minutes... er, I wouldn't even think about it as risky. We live 2 minutes walk from streetlights & pavement down a country lane. People walk their dogs down here after dark, so not unusual.

If it's dangerous for her then it's dangerous for you too. You can't really treat 17 year olds as children who need walking home. How about a torch if it's really dark? Or ask her to text you as she's leaving to help you not to worry? If it's really not a safe route to walk in the night then she needs a lift or a taxi

It's reasonable for her walk alone but she should carry a torch and/or phone with light and where clothes/carry a bag with reflective strips to ensure she can be seen. I'm guessing you don't have a dog? if you did timing your walk would be a good compromise.

Yep a dog would be the best answer.

Ha! The dog walk suggestion made me chuckle because I actually tried that last time she had a late shift 🤣 but I mis-timed it (and she had to work later than expected) so the dog and I ended up walking round in circles in the rain outside the pub for 20 mins at 11.30pm trying to look nonchalantly as if we were just out for a normal night time jaunt! We eventually gave up and went home. DD text she was on her way home 5 mins later 🤣