Probably been asked a hundred times but would you leave a 13 year old home alone in the evening?

[ThespianTendencies]

Says it all really. My youngest is 13 this year and as I am an actor, I do rehearse and perform in the evenings a lot of the time. I have my Mum or adult year old niece look after him but I am thinking, come Sept when he turns teen, would it be Ok to leave him at home lone between say, 7 and 10pm? He is absolutely fine with it and is happy to be left during the day if I am rehearsing or walking dogs, shopping etc. But evenings seem like a giant leap! when I was chatting about it to my niece he piped up with "you could leave me now, that's fine" but I absolutely would not feel comfortable when he is still 12! It would probably be a couple of evenings per week. What have others done? I don't think there are any rules as such. I'd value your opinions Mnetters :-)

I think it's fine. We left our son at home for the evening at a younger age than that and didn't worry too much. He enjoyed it.

And yet on the school trip thread teachers were being condemned for having a glass of wine whilst looking after the little darlings.
Yet here, apparently, it’s fine to leave kids alone.
The hypocrisy is epic on this site.

@Mrskeats Mumsnet is not one person! And comparing this to the other thread is comparing apples with pears.

No not really. Either kids of that age need full on supervision or they don't. Simple.

Yes if it's a sensible child who is happy with it and you know would be able to phone someone if worried. Depends on the child.

Of course, they're taking the bus to and from school on their own from 11, why wouldn't they be safe at home? My 12 & 14 years old are often left alone for a couple of hours in the evening

I did this for the first time this week, I had to go to a meeting at 6:30pm and was home by 8pm. Sensible almost 13 year old. I arranged for granny and grandad to speak to her on FaceTime at 7pm and they had only just finished when I got in the car.

Lots of people she could have gone to or who could have come round but she wanted to try it so we did and it was fine.

Depends on the child. Ds1 yes. Always been very mature, very independent. Ds2 No.

I guess it depends on the child, I was left alone with my younger sisters from age 9, and was babysitting 2-6 year olds from age 12

There is a world of difference between a parent choosing to leave their own child at home for an evening while they go to work, and a teacher in loco parentis inadequately supervising a group of children. Groups are far more likely to cause trouble than a solo teenager.

You have family living very near so it's a "yes leave him" from me.

Depends on the child. DD, yes!

I'd be uncomfortable leaving a 12-13 yo alone in the evening until 10pm. It's just that little bit too late
and long, even if they are sensible.

But 14 and sensible, I'd say would be a better age to consider this. Can your DS wait a year?

There will be many different view on MNs but if you are uncertain then make him wait a year ... He'll have plenty of time to get experience of independence that you're more comfortable with. You don't have to rush him out of childhood or feel pressured to.

At 14 I used to babysit younger children so I think leaving him at 13 is fine.

Maybe build it up, perhaps until 9am initially. 10pm seems late,especially in winter (don’t know why, it just does).

Is dc happy to be left? If you won’t Be close by, ensure he has a neighbour he can turn to or go to if he is worried about anything.

The only thing that's different about leaving them alone in the evening rather than the daytime is whether they will put themselves to bed ok if you're out. Mine have always been happy to do that, but I'm aware of friends who's kids aren't comfortable going to sleep when their parents aren't back. If your DS is like that then you don't want to be leaving him much later than his usual bed time. But if he's telling you he's fine about it and will go to bed as normal them yes why on earth wouldn't you leave him? It's no more dangerous than him being alone after school for a few hours as many 11+ aged kids are regularly if their parents work.

It is fine to leave a teenager at the age of 13 in the evening if they are happy with it and they know what to do in an emergency i.e. call 999 lock and unlock doors they know how to get a snack and they know how to turn heating on and off and pour drinks etc. They know your mobile number where you are and how long you are going to be just like we will know what they are up to in the daytime if they are out. Fair's fair.

I just wouldn't go out too many evenings or they may take liberties. So no more than one a week perhaps. Unless it is a quick exercise class or soemthing which doesn't really count as that is on a par with say going round Tescos in terms of how long it takes to get done.

If the child is happy with it it doesn't seem like too much of a problem.

I'd be happier doing it in the summer months though when the evenings are light. The world seems a lot scarier in the dark.