F-Ing f-Ed off with all of this now!!!

[cricketmum84]

Before anyone says that I'm a terrible parent I will just say that I have fought and fought for help for my teenage son. I've cried down the phone to CAMHS, social services, early help team, GP. You name it / I've spoken to them.

Basically teen DS has struggled with anxiety for a couple of years. He is now seeing a psychologist under CAMHS. I've posted a few times about him, he's been hospitalised before and we have social services involved too.

The biggest issue is that he just WILL NOT get out of bed and go to school. He stays awake all night and is exhausted on a morning then tells me it's because of anxiety. The psychologist he is seeing is not yet convinced he has anxiety and thinks it may be more of a sleep disorder. Every single morning he pulls the covers over his head and won't speak to me. When I push it with him he tells me I don't understand how he feels. (I fucking do!!)

I am just beyond frustrated now with this situation. He can't be left alone in the house as I don't trust him. He has run away twice, stolen alcohol, sent worrying photos of kitchen knives to his friends on sm, taken a paracetamol overdose and damaged walls in a fit of temper. This means that I have to take time off work every time he does this.

I am on the verge of losing my job because of all the time I have to take off with him. And even when he does get up and go to school it's literally dragging him out of bed 30 seconds before we have to leave. We can't physically get him out of bed as he has made accusations about us to social services so it's just giving him more fuel.

I've had the police visit me at work because someone anonymously phoned and expressed concern about our younger child as she had told them her brother is aggressive. I had to walk through the office with them to a meeting room and pretty much defend myself for an hour.

I'm not really asking for solutions as I don't think we can do any more than we are doing. I suppose I just wanted to write it all down in a safe space and get it all off my chest. I'm not sure how much more I can take, I honestly just feel like giving in. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so lost and utterly helpless.

Anxiety is a long haul. You are doing your bit by getting him professional help. I look at it like this: my family needs me to be well and employed. Ds going to school or not is a long term problem, not a drop everything crisis. Look after yourself and your job as well as ds and his sister.

Hi Cricket. Sorry to hear about your worries with DS.
Just wanted to say that my DD aged 15 was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 2 years ago and after a year of counselling at CAMHS said she wanted to try anti depressants.

I was very unsure about this, and am still uncomfortable with it, but must say they have helped a lot - especially with sleep and she is now back in some sort of routine.
She was never allowed to be absent from school, but got around it by being on school premises, but not in lessons. She would sit in the library with a book in front of her and catch up on sleep! School began to get a bit twitchy and so we had a meeting with them & CAMHS with DD present. She was told school is for learning not sleeping and with us all as a united front began to return to lessons; slowly. Teachers were kept in the loop and told to ignore the fact that she was only there physically. She did no homework for a year.

Also think you should carry on going to work. It's obviously really important to you, but not something your DS is able/willing to give much of his head space to. They are entirely self centred at this age. Hide the knives and medication.

Good luck