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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Daughter in Paris, for weekend, strange night club experiance

18 replies

gemandjule · 10/03/2019 11:06

My DD, 20 and in second year Uni, went to Paris for the weekend with a friend. They are staying in a hotel somewhere near the Champs Elysees. She just rang me. They went out last night to go clubbing. They were standing on the side of the street looking at their phones to decide where to go when 2 male club promoters came to them and offered them free entry into a club. They went with them. They were given free entry and free drinks all night. She admits they got drunker than they ever intended but she remembers all the night so doesn't seem to have been too bad, although obviously very foolish. The promoters stayed with them all night and as I say gave them free drink but she says by the end of the night the vibe was not great and they were saying things like "we shouldn't have brought you here". No idea if it's relevant or not but they were the only 2 white girls in the club. Anyway when they said they wanted to go one of the promotors walked them back to the hotel and that was that. Nothing bad happened but she said it was all very odd and she doesn't know why they were given free entry and free drinks all night and feels unsettled by the whole thing. She also feels foolish that she got too drunk and feels this was somewhat the intention of the promoters. One of the guys is now texting her on instagram this morning, and he knows where her hotel is. Is this all innocent and she's just reading too much into it? Or is there something she needs to look out for?

OP posts:

Laquila · 10/03/2019 11:08

Well it doesn’t sound like a safe situation but can we possibly know?

How much longer are they there for? If it were my daughter I would tell her to move hotels and block the guy on Instagram.

Original poster

gemandjule · 10/03/2019 11:11

They are just there for one more night and she says they are definitely not going out tonight. I wondered about saying to move hotels but don't want to freak her out if I'm just being a hysterical mum who is completely out of touch with the clubbing scene. I agree completely about blocking him.

OP posts:

user1457017537 · 10/03/2019 11:11

I think your daughter has been very lucky. The men sounded like decent guys, many men are not.

needthisthread · 10/03/2019 11:12

No idea if it's relevant or not but they were the only 2 white girls in the club

No it's not relevant. They put themselves in serious danger. That's the only relevant point here.

Laquila · 10/03/2019 11:16

It’s true that club promoters often do coax girls in off the street and give them free drinks in an attempt to make their place looks buzzier/cooler. Whether is true that they were (or remain) in danger we can’t really say so she just has to go off her gut instinct. You could probably find a double room for £150 on booking.com for the last night, which might be a reasonable price to pay for more peace of mind. Then again that might be completely blowing it out of proportion, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Original poster

gemandjule · 10/03/2019 11:16

I know it's not relevent in terms of the danger they were in, I'm not stupid or racist. It was in tehe context of being actively encouraged into a club and then being told by the promoter that he shouldn't have brought them there. It seemed to her as though he was saying he had made a mistake in bringing there.
I agree they were lucky, and she absolutely would not do that again. I'm really just asking is there a scam she might need to be aware of today?

OP posts:

Whatsnewpussyhat · 10/03/2019 11:19

Thankfully they are ok and hopefully won't put herself in a similar situation again.

Original poster

gemandjule · 10/03/2019 11:24

Thanks Laquila, that's exactly what I was asking really. If this is a known thing then I'm not too worried although really do know how irresponsible and silly it was to get to go off with strangers and to get too drunk. Still not too sure whether to advise her to change hotels or not. I'll chat to her later and see what she thinks. As you say she needs to go with her gut on that

OP posts:

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 10/03/2019 11:43

You have two choices:

Ring Liam Neeson

Advise your DD to be much more sensible and not go off with random men then accept lots of drinks from them and get totally hammered.

Seriously though, obviously men are responsible for their behaviour and women should be free to get pissed without risking their safety. Some men do pose a risk to women though and we all know it - going off with strangers is risky whether you're 11 or 20, and accepting drinks from men you don't know is dangerous. It's like inviting someone off the internet who you've never met to your home and we all advise our DC against things like this.

Original poster

gemandjule · 10/03/2019 11:51

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles, I think I'll go with option 1 . " I will find you and I will kill you"

You are 100% right and that's exactly what I've always told them. I'm hoping she'll never learn her lesson easier because all she seems to have to show for a very silly decision is a sore head and feeling very foolish and a little unsettled.
I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything obvious that I should be advising her on today. Thanks to everyone for the advice

OP posts:

Bowchicawowow · 10/03/2019 11:55

I went to a nightclub in Paris years ago and my friend and I were the only white people in there. It was hot and stuffy and I couldn’t breath and everything went black. I literally couldn’t see a thing. A guy guided me outside and really looked after me. My vision came back after a bit of fresh air.

Beaverhausen · 10/03/2019 11:59

Yep scenarios like this remind me of Taken... unfortunately Liam Neeson is in hiding at the moment after his last faux pas.

Dowdydoes · 10/03/2019 12:04

The risk was last night - sober and staying in they will be fine. The blokes were clearly ok

Original poster

gemandjule · 10/03/2019 12:05

Bowchicawowow, That's what's sad. Another perspective on this is that two nice guys helped out 2 young girls in Paris, brought them to a club for free and got them free drinks and that the 2 girls were silly enough to get drunk. And then the guys made sure they got safely back to their hotel. If that was my son I'd be thinking he was really nice to 2 girls visiting his city

OP posts:

Bowchicawowow · 10/03/2019 12:18

Exactly OP.

BuildingBackUp · 10/03/2019 12:24

I think there’s one most likely possibility op.

Two club promoters saw two attractive girls and, like a pp mentioned, took them back with offers of free drinks to make the club busier and draw others in.

The two girls take full advantage of the free drinks and get smashed and start making a bit of a pissed nuisance of themselves.

The club promoter regrets picking these two as they’re now so smashed he feels responsible for them - ‘I shouldn’t have brought you here’.

The girls want to leave and the guy happily walks them home, glad to be rid of them!

Original poster

gemandjule · 10/03/2019 12:35

BuildingBackUp in the cold light of day that does appear to be the most likely scenario.
I think Liam can safely go back into hiding 😉

OP posts:

Mentounasc · 10/03/2019 16:57

DD1 used to study in the south of France and it was absolutely normal for them to dress up to go to Monaco in the evening, and as long as it was a group of girls rather than a mixed group, they would probably get free entry and free drinks/snacks throughout the evening. There was never any pressure on them to behave in a particular way (or they'd have left immediately) and they were never hassled - the plus point for the promoters was it dropped the avaerage age in the bar by 10 years and made it feel less male-dominated. But they always went in larger groups of students (never just two), didn't get overly drunk, and they knew exactly where they were and felt in control. Very different to the situation in Paris with your DD. Tell her to go to Monaco for a free evening next time!

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