DD16 doesn’t go out. Anyone else?

[Wendywoo1000]

My DD is 17 this month and has become rather a recluse! Not such a bad thing maybe as at least I know where she is. But she doesn’t want to go neither. She loves football and will happily spend her nights watching a match on tv, or at training or a match. She left school to attend college and most of her friends stayed on to 6th form. She has new friends at college but they live too far to socialise with -but she probably wouldn’t.

She’s never been the party girl, has been to a couple of House parties but doesn’t really enjoy them so went just as her friends went.

I just feel kinda sorry for her, just being her mum i suppose. Im sure it will change as she gets older/drives. But does anyone else have a teen who is a home bird?

My teen is a bit younger but he rarely goes out. You said she trains for football, is she part of a team?

My DD isn’t nearly 17. She doesn’t go anywhere other than college and rowing. She doesn’t seem to have any friends either 🙁 she tells me she is happy like this?

Is nearly 17.... not isn’t!

My Ds1 is 16 - still at school. He goes out to Explorers, football training, volunteers at Cubs for DofE, foot match and rugby training/ match each week on top of school/ homework/ revision. I don’t think k he’s got the energy to do much more. He ‘with mates on social media/ PS4 regularly too

She is part of a team jilted. A very good one and she’s a great player. Shes been playing since she was 4.

I think as long as she's happy, that's fine. She's sporty - that's good.And she doesn't follow the crowd - went to college instead of staying where her friends were - that's independent of her. If she were desperately wanting a better social life I'd worry. But if not, let her be.

DS1 is out all the time and DS2 almost never is, but he wishes he were. I feel sorry for him but only because he wants more of a social life and his brother has one. If he were happy with the quiet life, I'd not worry so much.

Good point trainsong she’s never been one of follow the crowd! She actually loathes the one girl who does stuff and everyone else follows! Maybe thats why she likes to stay out if it.

Is she an only child? Is she happy in herself?
My ds is a bit of a home bird and we all get on really well so he's happy indoors. He does gaming and also does team sports which is three times a week plus school sports. He seems to have many friends at school and is very confident and resilient. He doesn't have much patience for kid dramas and has to have a purpose if he goes out. He does seem to go through stages of trying to organise stuff and sometimes not bothering. I sometimes worry but it's just the way he is and obv he is perfect

She is part of a team jilted. A very good one and she’s a great player. Shes been playing since she was 4.

She sounds very much like my younger DD. She enjoys sport, doesn't follow the crowd and it a bit of a home bird. She seems happy enough.

My almost 18 year old DS never 'goes out', apart from college.

He seems okay with it. 😑

My DD is almost 17 and similar. Has a few friends at 6th form college, but has practically zero social life at weekends and evenings. She would love to be invited to parties, but isn't. Despite that she's very happy in her own company, very creative and mostly content. Was miserable when part of what became a bitchy friendship group up to last year and has realised she's happier spending time on her own than dealing with the drama and back-stabbing. I admire her strength and self-esteem. She'd love to have more of a social life and I'm sure it will come together, maybe if and when she goes to uni.

ditto she has been in a crowd of girls at school where there was a lit of bitchyness going in. This is regarding the crowd leader she doesn’t like. She has no contact with ger now but the girls she talks to every now and then are in school wuth her.

She isnt an only child spring. 2 siblings (15 & 11). They are also football mad so were all busy with sport.

Just wanted to add, some people are more introverted than others. I think the word introverted gets a lot of bad publicity but it just means they are energised in their own company. They can enjoy socializing and be good at it but find it tiring so often choose to opt out when they can. As long as they are happy and content, I would not worry about it and just enjoy the family time you get to share.

So true blessthekids. Im sure soon enough she will find her social life if she will go to uni then I won’t see her for dust!

Counting my blessings as i know where she is, doesnt drink/do drugs and isn’t costing me a fortune!

Shes been looking fir jibs in cafes etc but we live in a small rural area and jobs aren’t in abundance.

I was like this at her age because I was bussed into school so didn't live near my school friends and most of my sixth form friends had part time jobs so didn't really have a lot of free time to hang out during evenings and weekends.

I didn't like it and remember really resenting my sixth form friends for not having time for me.

Dd at 15 is a bit younger. She is a recluse to but seems happy with it. She suffers from social anxiety and hates the thought of sleepovers or parties.

She will go to family parties but happy to sit on the side watching her more outgoing cousins. Happy at bbqs with family or family friends.

She is involved with a local theatre group and spends 2 evenings and a weekend day rehearsing for whatever show she is in so she does have interests.

She just wants to spend time with family and in her words feels safe at home.

With the current climate and fears of knives and drugs I can't say I'm not unhappy. I know where she is and I know she is safe.

I suspect her younger sister will be a different kettle of fish.

I have a 16 year old boy, he is still at school. He doesn't "go out" often. He plays dungeons and dragons with his friends about once a fortnight, in one of their houses. He does parkrun, and volunteers at a charity shop on a Sunday. He will sometimes go to the cinema with a friend if there's something he particularly wants to see.

He has no interest in parties, or spending time hanging around bus stops or at the park.

Mines 19 and still a bit like this. She has a horse and we are a busy happy family. We are quite rural so she has to drive if she goes out so doesnt drink much (although shes had her moments, not driving I hasten to add) She's looking forward to going to uni to party a bit I think.

Tbh she tells me everything sometimes TMI. I do wish she had a lovely close girlfriend but she seems happy.

He plays dungeons and dragons with his friends about once a fortnight, in one of their houses. He does parkrun, and volunteers at a charity shop on a Sunday

That sounds blissful

I was the same. Enjoyed reading, creative writing and art, and could do all that at home and wpuld rather spend time on that than socialising (still do!). This was in the early 00s and once we got internet at home I'd chat/email people on that, I imagine how it's even easier for quiet teens to keep in touch with their friends without going to parties etc..

I was like that at 16. I'm an introvert and my friendship grotto and I were starting to grow in different directions, so it was generally more fun. When I went to university I made plenty of friends and had a great social life.