14 year old DS permanently excluded for sexting

[Howdidthisbecomemylife]

I need a hand hold. Ds has been caught sexting a girl at a different school, this girl (also 14) was over heard boasting about the pictures he sent her, she had also sent him photos and the general conversation was pretty graphic. The safeguarding team at her school contacted ds’s School who have taken a hard line and the result is we have to find a new school for him. I’m devastated as is he. He says he would do anything to take it back and is completely distraught at having to leave his friends plus I have absolutely no idea where he should go now or how to deal with this. I just want to crawl into a deep hole and die. To rub salt in the wound dss 25 has message my dh to let him know how this is all our fault as we have allowed him too much internet access and allowed him a smart phone etc. Basically we are awful parents and he is ‘very disappointed in us’. Just the sort of helpful armchair parenting we need. Dh has been dealing with anxiety and has been making lots of progress but I can see him slipping backwards fast. Can anyone give some helpful advice or share similar experiences?

I will ibe issuing him with a brick phone but after an initial period of reflexion. It is all very fresh and I feel he needs some time out completely and to feel the gravity of the sittuation, not that he doesn’t already but I think some time with family will do him no harm. The other children haven’t even been informed he won’t be returning yet.

That's a good plan. As for your DSS though it is annoying you don't want to fall out with him. Get him to explain how he would manage his social media stuff. I have a 23 year old dss and their generation were the guinea pigs of social media and could offer good advice.

Has the fact the sexting went two ways escaped the attention of some posters

It hasn’t escaped posters!

Yes it’s two way

But how the girl is punished is up to her school and parents and not a concern to OP

He isn’t going to have social media stuff for a good long time. He is on a total detox. At some point he can have a brick, I’m not sure when we’ll even be talking about open internet access again. There is quite a lot of trust to be regained. That and a place at a school to find.