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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Empty nest Syndome Again.

3 replies

Shezyb · 04/03/2019 17:25

Hi everyone, I could do with some advice.

I have 5 children. Before you gasp shouting we live off the state. We dont. My husband works full time, I look after my family and parent. I have three girls two have gone to uni away from home and one due to leave for uni in september. I also have twins who where born 28 weeks premature. One has nystagmus and waiting for a full aspergers diagnosis. I do not claim anything for my kids. We live rurally and I am the only driver. There is no buses so when my girls are home I run them around as they work during their uni holidays.
This is a bit of background info to my situation.

It was extremely hard when my first went to uni. I grieved and struggled with her move. I was proud of her but I felt lost. Then my second girl went. She is the most demanding of me generally. She struggles academically but I know she works so hard to achieve her goals. She is the comedian of the girls and truly missed her when she left and because I ran around constantly after her,
It too was a struggle but I felt safe knowing she was near her sister. I did finding myself stalking snapchat maps to see if she was back safe but I've now deleted it because I was freaking out every 5 minutes she went out. I did not have that worry with my first girl. She tends to be more sensible lol.
Now I'm facing my third girl going. She want to go to a uni further away. It is an amazing uni. I'm worried though, she is socially awkward and shy. I really do not want her to lock herself away. I'm very worried. I'm not letting it show. It could be the best thing for her to help her come out her shell. Then there's the part of me that's scared for her too.
I wont even let myself think about her leaving. I couldn't the ring up to the other girls going. If I think about it I feel sick.

Any advice would be great because I am going to drive myself insane again. Lol xxx

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 04/03/2019 17:39

I can understand to a certain extent, but it's not really an empty nest, is it? You've still got two left at home. And all credit to you that three dc have worked hard enough and are ambitious enough to get to uni! Well done. You're doing your job so well! Flowers

TheFirstOHN · 04/03/2019 17:43

When my eldest left for university, I found it harder than I thought I would. The first few days were the worst, but I missed him badly for about a month.

I think I will find it even harder when the second goes, as he has SEN and is a homebody.

Then when the twins leave, I will find it hard because they are my youngest and last.

I don't really have much helpful advice, other than reassuring you that you are not alone. Keep busy, plan things to look forward to, and remember that the university term times only take up half the year.

Singlenotsingle · 04/03/2019 23:51

There's no guarantee they'll leave anyway. I've got a 40yo who bounces back regularly, and currently occupies one of the bedrooms. Confused

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