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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Charging teens rent....

22 replies

rhiaevie · 04/03/2019 15:18

After some advice...
How many of you charge rent to your teens who are earning?
My daughter has a part time evening job and is soon to start and apprenticeship. She will be earning circa £1100 per month, pretty good for age 18.
Shes not happy but I said I feel she can contribute financially to the household. Of course i got the 'well i may as well move out' etc etc, but i want to know what you guys feel is an appropriate amount to ask from her.
Thanks x

OP posts:

celtiethree · 04/03/2019 15:44

I do. My DC is bringing home a little more each month than yours. They pay £200 a month. It’s more the principal rather than anything else. I’m sure that my DC could actually afford to live out and is planning on doing that - but knows that their disposable income will reduce dramatically so I think will wait for first pay rise before doing that to help cushion the blow.

Comefromaway · 04/03/2019 15:46

When they leave full time education and I am no longer eligible to claim child benefit for them I will be expecting them to contribute to the household.

I wouldn't however charge a university student during the holidays.

MustBeAWeasly · 04/03/2019 15:59

That's how much I bring in now and I have a mortgage and a baby!!
I made about 600 a month at 18 while at college for an extra year. I paid my parents 100 a month.
Why not work out exactly what she'd be paying if she was renting a flat?Food council tax, rent, everything.
She probably isn't happy because she has no idea how much more money she'll have living with you.

Tchelsea · 04/03/2019 16:01

My personal opinion (not attacking anyone else's) is I would never charge a child of mine to live with me. What I would do however, is take a certain amount of their wage and put it aside for them for savings for later in life. I know a few people that have done this and it's worked well.

Petalflowers · 04/03/2019 16:02

I wouldn’t charge rent if she was still at school, but would if she has left school and got a job.

Firefliess · 04/03/2019 19:21

DS (19) earns £1000 a month in his apprenticeship. We don't charge him rent as such but he does pay £120 a month to cover his share of food and bills. I think that's a fair enough thing to do.

MumUnderTheMoon · 04/03/2019 19:37

Once you no longer receive child benefit etc there is a dip in your income to the household so I think it is appropriate for them to at least make up this difference + a bit extra (depending on the amount). It gets them used to paying their way. If she has £1100 coming in then £400 would seem reasonable to me. She would still have a substantial amount left over for non essentials you could tell her you will use some towards utilities and put the rest in savings for her.

CherryPavlova · 04/03/2019 19:42

No. They were at school until they were nearly 18 years old. I wouldn’t charge my children to live in their home - even if they come back as adults. That said, we didn’t lose money when they left school and could afford to support them.

an1997 · 04/03/2019 19:44

I personally would charge them rent to get used to having to be responsible but would actually keep all the money they gave me in a savings account and give it back when they moved out. I think it depends if you can afford to live comfortably without there financial help or not.

sugartitz · 04/03/2019 19:47

My parents charged me 1/4 of whatever I earned once I started work (which was after uni). My brothers both went to work at 18 and did the same - the one did an apprenticeship. They couldn't afford to keep adults and not get any extra financial help.

sugartitz · 04/03/2019 19:48

I will add though that the 'rent' covered food, bills, laundry etc. If we wanted specific foods we had to buy it ourselves but mam would do a family shop and cook a family
Meal every night.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 04/03/2019 19:52

Every time this subject comes up ( which is often) it’s always full of people saying l wouldn’t charge mine rent.

HOW do they afford it? 3 young adults st home eating their heads off would cost a bloody fortune. As would 2. One might be manageable but l couldn’t afford it.

When we had 3 older teens at home it was terrible. They never stopped eating. HOW does anyone afford this?

Graphista · 04/03/2019 19:54

Dd pays housekeeping, I couldn't afford to have her living here if she didn't.

There's the money lost as a result of her leaving school and working, plus she doesn't exist on thin air, she eats, uses the heating, lighting and hot water (lots of hot water)...

Personally I don't think being able to afford not to charge your working children is enough of a reason not to. I think it's good for them to truly understand, in a way that actually affects them rather than an abstract concept, that being a working adult means you pay your way.

I've friends and family who've had a variety of expectations/experiences on this subject and tbh generally speaking the ones who didn't have to pay anything, didn't cope as well when they left home and were the ones more likely to get into debt and have unrealistic approaches to managing a budget.

PixieDust20 · 04/03/2019 19:57

That's a good amount for her age!!!
I'd say £200 per month that's more than reasonable x

Takethebuscuitandthesink · 04/03/2019 20:20

I think the risk with that is it makes it 50 times harder to save up to move out. A suggestion could be to put the money aside and when it is enough for a deposit on a house/ rent on a flat.

m0therofdragons · 04/03/2019 20:28

My parents charged 10 percent so it was fair whatever db and I earned.

BackforGood · 04/03/2019 20:35

I would say at least a 1/3
I would sit down with her, with a local paper or internet site, and show her the cost of renting a room. Then the cost of utilities, insurances, TV licence, internet, council tax. Then look at cost of food, cleaning stuff, toiletries etc.
Then, she will see what a bargain she is getting.
She will still have over £730 a month for her own spending..... who has that kind of spending money ? I know I never have.

Original poster

rhiaevie · 05/03/2019 08:43

Thanks everyone for your input. When i say 'rent' i obviously mean all in, bills food etc etc.
I'm going to write sown exactly what it costs to live here and divide it up and sit down with her and show here these sums. Ill then look at 'rooms to rent' costs and explain what this doesn't include. I certainly don't want to profit from my child, but unfortunately i'm not like some people and wont be in a position to support her fully. Although shes 18 shes still by little girl i suppose, and i think this is what makes it hard.... when i think back, I was earning around £400 per month (apprenticeship wage) and i gave my mum around £150. As my money increased so did my 'rent'. I think i moaned at the time, but i still went out and ran a car. Oh if i knew then what i know now, id have been very grateful!

OP posts:

Comefromaway · 05/03/2019 09:39

I think the risk with that is it makes it 50 times harder to save up to move out. A suggestion could be to put the money aside and when it is enough for a deposit on a house/ rent on a flat.

However the other side of the coin is my sister in law who left school at 16 and worked full time until she had a child in her late 30's. For all but the last 5 years she lived at home with her parents both of whom had periods of unemployment due to redundancy and she didn't contribute a penny to the household.

MoBiroBo · 05/03/2019 12:39

Have a look on spareroom.co.uk for prices of rooms in your area for a realistic look at the world. Where I live it is about £450 a month for a share with 5 or 6 others.

Bare in mind that if she thinks moving out is the answer to saving money she has to consider any bills that aren't covered under the rent. Contents insurance for one, her phone, tv licence.

She will also be responsible for her food shopping, laundry (the house may not have a washing machine or tumble dryer) taxis or buses to get her somewhere. All the little things she takes for granted like toilet roll (fond memories of university days sharing with complete morons grin]) shampoo, shower gel etc etc etc.

She will also be sharing with people she may not get on with. And sharing a bathroom with strangers who may not be as clean and tidy as you are as a family.

So yes, if she feels she wants to move out then that is her choice. It isn't just about money though, it is about the time spent doing things she doesn't do now and the responsibility that goes with it all.

A lot of people don't have £1000 to spend solely on themselves and she needs to learn to save it and not spend it, but also all the bills adults pay.

Comefromaway · 05/03/2019 12:54

I pay £130 per week for dd to live near to her school/college. That includes breakfast and evening meal and basic toiletries eg communal soap and toothpaste.

Frenchfancy · 06/03/2019 18:51

I think it comes down to respect. I would not feel respected if I were scrimping and saving to put food on the table and a roof over our head if my kids then had £1000/month to piss up against a wall. Whilst I am happy to support them through education once they are earning they will need to pay their way. Obviously if the household has plenty of money then there is no need to charge, but I personally think it makes for entitled adults.

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