15yr old DD tearful and morose, then not. Normal or more??

[Blewitt]

Hi All,
Would appreciate some advise. My DD 15 has got incredibly emotional over the last few months. She cries very easily and has told me she thinks she is depressed. On the other hand, there are times when she is absolutely fine, happy, and engaging. I would say more of the happy than the sad but can flip in an instant from one to the other. The sad times are generally reserved for me I have noticed and I think this is because she knows I will listen and hug her rather than manipulating me. (Although by nature she can be very manipulating). Last night, she was crying after an otherwise lovely day about not wanting to grow up (I get that) not having made the most of her childhood and just not sure what the point of exisiting is if we are all going to die anyway.
She had a first counselling session last week which she will continue for now.
Do you think this is just a normal teen not coping well with her emotions? I can't decide if shes being overly dramatic or is in genuine turmoil as her mood is just so variable from day to day.
Any thoughts gratefully appreciated.
Thank you.

I’d say it’s very normal but obv you know your daughter best so trust your instincts.

Are you sure of what she is viewing online?

No friendship issues.

With exams looming life can feel very scary for youngsters.

I’d encourage her to also keep a menstrual diary or app. It will show any peak and Dios which at her age could be pmt.
This can cause huge mood swings.

Maybe a supplement like evening primrose oil or even a birth control pill could help.

My daughter suffered from depression as a teen and found writing in a diary every day very therapeutic - she got it all out of her system. She also found running really good for her, too - later in her twenties she switched to yoga and can't praise it too much for keeping her mentally healthy.

OK, thanks. She has just started pill for what she told Dr was PMS mood swings and for her skin but I have to say the moods to me seem to be anytime. My instinct is that she is just overly emotional. No particular friendship issues although she doesn't and never has had particularly close friends, just always part of a group. I will try and ask about what she is looking at online, she does seem very happy to talk things through with me which I am so grateful for. There is no way she will run, she "hates exercise" and says it makes her feel worse. The diary is a good idea, I used to do the same, I still have it and it makes for "interesting" reading. Last week it was her body shape she was crying over, anything seems to set her off.

Be very wary of the effects the Pill can have on your emotions. There is a definite increase in depression and anxiety in young women taking the Pill. There has been quite a bit about this in the news recently if you want to look it up.

Personally I remember being 15 and it sucked monkeys balls. I wouldn't do it again for nothing me.

I've never been able to tolerate hormonal contraception. Is there nothing else available. I take b vits, liquid iron, calcium with vit D and folic acid and my PMT doesn't seem to exist bar one day before my period. Starflower oil is good as well. Teens can be low in the good stuff as it's hard sometimes to get them to eat a balanced diet and generally look after themselves.

Sounds fairly normal to me. My DD (also 15 ) can be happy as larry one moment and then be worried about global warming, us dying, her exam choices, the next. She is taking the pill (for very painful periods) and I am concerned about the effects of it, but she hasn't be on it long and was the same for about a year before tbh.

I agree with PPs regarding the pill, this could actually make her mood worse so I would keep a close eye on whether it is helping or not and maybe go back to the GP if you have any concerns.

Thanks all, I think she's normal! Phew. She's not changed mood wise since starting the pill so will keep an eye on that. Not sure it is suiting her otherwise anyway so may well stop soon anyway.

Hi. I can't really offer any advise but just want to tell you that you re not alone. My almost 15 yer old daughter is the exact same. Although she is having some issues regarding a controlling father too.
But we get all the same things, wishes she was never born, wishes she could sleep for ever and not wake up ( has said she is not suicidal) hates school, gave up her dancing. We are at our wits end. She has gone to three counselling sessions but says she does not want to go anymore as she cannot put in to words how she feels.
So I really do not know anymore or how to even help you but just to let you know that you are not on your own.
Did you have your daughters bloods done? I know my daughters iron and B12 were really low so she is on a course of iron and B12 at the moment. Might be worth a shot.

All sounds totally normal, there is so much change going on at that age. I was very like this as a teenager. Praise her sensitivity. Teach her self care techniques for the sad feelings. Upset, have a nice bath etc. Cultivate the positive outlook she clearly has. Interesting she hates exercise. Is there something less strenuous she could try. Her finding a positive hobby as maybe she is bored/lacking motivation/self esteem.

This has all helped so much, thank you. We actually had a very good week until today so that was nice! The counselling on Monday she said did help and is going to go for one more. Interesting thought about bloods snuggle.

Yes have done so much googling re B12 and went back and spoke to Doctor again and she confirmed that it has been proven that low B12 in adults affects the brain and one can get very depressed. My daughters iron levels and iron store were both low so I am hoping things improve once she is on the medication a while. She has been taking it for three weeks but the doctor said it can take three months.

B12, Magnesium too, btw, my daughter can seem like the happiest in the world, and then next thing....it's all doom and gloom. She's been to counselling, about 6 times, but has now declared that it's boring. It's so exhausting.

Vagabond, I completely agree with you, I am worn out with it. My daughter has been three times to counselling and refuses to go now. She seems fine one minute and completely low the next. I am an anxious mess about the whole thing. I would worry less if I did not have the added pressure of her dad ( we are not together) so he is putting her under an awful lot of pressure to see him and ruins all her plans with friends etc as it is "his time" with her.But that is a whole other issue.
A friend said to me that they feel that they can come to us and offload as it is there safe place and once they have offloaded, they are fine again. Us as parents, on the other hand, are in bits worrying about them.
I swear the teenage years are by far my most challenging parenting ones.

Totally agree that it's so challenging. My daughter has mood swings every two or three weeks. Things can be perfect and then boom, she's changed based on one conversation that doesn't go her way and then she runs off to other family members and I don't see her for days.
All sounds like normal challenging behaviour for this age but that doesn't make it any easier for us parents :(