I have to pay my 16 yr old to do his GCSE work!

[caringdad66]

My son had some mental health problems back in October.
He stopped attending school and refuses to return.
No issues at school, just doesn't see the point.
He was forecast all grade 7s before he stopped attending.

Recently the local authority have been home tutoring him, and I set additional work for him also.
School are very supportive and send lots of practice GCSE papers home.

The issue is, that I have to pay him to do any kind of study.
£10 per hour for working with tutor, and £7 am hour for working on his own.
Have worked out what I can afford to pay him each week, and he's getting 60 quid a week.

It's all sitting quite uncomfortably with me, the fact that I have to pay him to do schoolwork.

However the pragmatic side of me says it's fine, as long as he leaves school with some GCSEs.

The money works wonders, btw, and he's engaged again.

Just thought I'd share.

Peace and love to all !

I'm generally not a big fan of teaching kids to expect rewards for things they are doing for their own benefit. I sometimes treat my dc for a good report etc, but it's a spontaneous thing, not guaranteed.

Sympathies, Silene. My oldest dc is nearly 14, able, but just beginning to head into lazy teenager territory. I have forced myself since the beginning of secondary school to take no hand whatsoever in when or if she does her homework. If she fails to do it, she will get a detention. I didn't want to be struggling to relinquish my control later, so I put the responsibility squarely in her hands from the beginning. No guarantee it will work though!

Try not to worry too much. My DB put no effort into his GCSE'S, scared himself with his results, and redoubled his efforts at a level to go to a great uni.

I did really well at GCSE then jacked it all in for similar reasons to yours. I wasn't in the right place and nothing would have motivated me. If I'd gone to uni I would have wasted the experience. I worked, went back to studying and now going to Oxbridge uni this autumn and can promise I will appreciate it now :)

Everyone finds their own way.

What does he spend it on?!

Goodness, there are some harsh people on here! I can empathise. My DS has no motivation to work and has spent two days this week in bed 'too depressed' to go to school. He got 3 passes in his GCSE mocks when he was predicted 8 good grades - mainly due to having done no revision. I personally think my DS's problem is low self esteem and mental health problems. Paying your son is perhaps not the best plan but you're simply doing your best to get him through this next stage. If I thought this would work for me I might consider it too!

If he’s happy and working, and you’re happy and can afford it, it works for you two. It’s only money. I agree, you find what works for this particular stage and, as he matures, hopefully he will appreciate your contribution and grow up a bit. Maybe even pay you back...

Do what you feel you have to do for now but once the exams are over tell him there is absolutely no money over summer. Encourage him to go out and get a summer job which might help with his MH issues too

Lots of people will give a financial reward to DC after GCSEs. It's not that different.

When my eldest was clearly not putting in enough effort I dangled a carrot of reward for good grades. It worked for him, he got As at GCSE and never needed any more bribes incentives to go on to get 4A at A level and a first at degree level.
I didn't do the same for younger DC as they would have felt too much under pressure, she responded better to lots of TLC and encouragement. I still gave a similar reward afterwards though.

Lots of 15/16 year olds are very immature and as a parent I couldn't stand by and let their immaturity "teach them a lesson".