What is the bare minimum you expect?

[howmanyyears]

Ok.... we have two terrible teenagers, my DD and my DSS who lives with us full time and has been for a year now (both 15)

They absolutely do NOTHING around the house. They just about put their dirty clothes in the wash on a weekly basis.

I work FT as does DP, we also have a 3yo DS.

What do you really expect your teenagers to do in terms of helping around the house??

Help!!

DS 16 vacuums the whole house weekly, empties all the bins and puts the wheelie bins out, changes his own bed, puts a load of washing on when asked, helps prepare meals and clears up after the cats (if he comes across the vomit first!)

DD 13 empties the dishwasher daily, changes her own bed, can operate the washing machine and helps prepare meals.

Both of them keep their own rooms tidy, put away their laundry and sort their washing into the light and dark baskets.

Wow! @AndIAmTellingYou impressive. I am slightly put to shame now. That has given me a good starting point as I am drawing up a new rota.

Do you reward for these jobs?

My dd (16) is expected to keep her own room clean and tidy and put her washing away. She has to throw it down to be washed or i dont do it (her room is in the loft). She does sometimes do her own. She is expected to keep her mess out of the rest of the house and pick up after herself. She is so bloody obnoxious at the moment that im happy with this. Theres no way she would do any jobs so as long as she just sorts herself out thatll do for now. Im picking my battles. I dont necessarily think this is right though.

No specific rewards, just their usual pocket money. They need the odd reminder but basically just get on with it. It has been the normal routine for a long time now.

My ds 17 tidies and hoovers his room and will hoover the house if I ask. He sorts his laundry and puts it away. He helps prepare meals if asked and will makes drinks/snacks for me if I am tired/ill/home late. He puts out the wheelie bin weekly and does the dishwasher sometimes without prompting and always when I ask. After meals he will help tidy the kitchen. He has always helped out abit but has been a lot better in the last two years. I am super tidy though with high standards and he does a lot less when he stays at his dads who is much messier.

@justgivemesomepeace sounds like where I am at but it's just becoming a cycle of exhaustion for me and DP keep up with all the housework. I used to check their rooms weekly but now I give up and just shut the door.

As you said, I don't expect their mess anywhere else throughout the house so their mess is literally confined to their rooms!

@CeeCeeMacFay we too have pretty high standards so somethings I would just not want them to do.

I'm planning an hour on the weekend to teach them some basics and introduce a list of jobs they must do daily/weekly.

Ds1 (15) and dd (14) have to keep their rooms tidy. Put washing away. Iron school uniforms. Change their beds. and cook once a week including tidying up.
Ds2 (8) sets the table every night for dinner and vacuums the rug.

They all will help with other bits if I ask but wont see a chore and think "I'll do that"

As a teen younger than that, our bare minimum was washing/drying up after mealtimes. Cleaning own bedrooms weekly and changing our bedding. We also had weekly jobs around the house eg hoovering or polishing or cleaning the bathroom. When we came home from school we had to tidy the kitchen and hoover before parents came home from work.

By 15/16 I was also Ironing,doing some of my washing and cooking too. We didn't get pocket money but odd bits if we went out with friends.

As a teen I probably thought I did loads but I was perfectly capable and it really set me up to look after myself when I moved out at 20 as I'd been doing it years.

I'm a single parent and I cannot do it all on my own, so I expect some contribution and always have done.

During the term time, I expect minimal amounts - so putting their own dishes in the dishwasher, helping set the table, keeping their rooms relatively tidy, putting lunch boxes in the dishwasher, tidying up after themselves, putting their own clothes in the laundry etc.

During the holidays, I expect significantly more, as I am working and they are usually doing bugger all! I leave a list of a few jobs most days, so hoovering, emptying the kitchen bin, emptying the dishwasher, hanging out laundry, taking out the recycling, cleaning surfaces, doing a few bits of shopping and so on.

I'm really clear with mine that I'm not a domestic servant and if I'm knackered then I won't be able to drive them to that party, or take them shopping etc.

It doesn't always work and there are times when I know they're exhausted too (during term time) and I let things slide a bit, but I'm just really honest with them about not being like dead weights for me to lug around.

DS14 - loads and unloads the dishwasher if asked.
Puts his clean clothes away (they are in a washing basket next to the washing machine)
Dirty clothes go in the dirty washing basket - I do not accept sock or pants left in trousers.
He opens his curtains in the morning - if he doesn’t it’s 2 strikes and then a reduction in allowance.
When asked puts our rubbish.
I have taught him to clean toilet/sink and on occasion will ask him to do this.
Changes sheets/duvet cover and pillow when asked.
Lays table when asked.
We don’t have a rota but there are consequences for not doing chores - it’s usually removal/reduction of allowance. I think if he got really stroppy I would take away Xbox controllers or change the WiFi password

Your responses are all amazing thank you. I'm writing up a schedule as we speak.

I cant bear a week of half term next week coming home to teenage mess so I am putting my foot down!!

My dd is 15, and to be fair is very good behaviourally and at school, and as a result we don't ask too much of her. She is expected to keep her own room tidy enough to be vacuumed, with no food/plates or dirty clothes. Surface mess I can live with. She is expected to be responsible for her own school stuff, uniform, makes her own lunches etc. She is asked to do some sort of chore maybe 5x a week and I'd expect her to do it pretty willingly. I might ask her to do certain things for me as an extra (eg go to shop for milk) or to help with other dc eg. Watch them for 1/2 hour so that I can make a phone call or something else. The older one she will watch for longer if I asked her to. She gets £10 per fortnight pocket money but also an occasional extra fiver here and there for social/school related things. We buy all her clothes but we're very lucky that she isn't really into high fashion clothes yet!! Her dad pays no maintenance (other story entirely) but does pay her phone contract.

My 17yo DD is out of the house for over 10 hours on school days so i cut her a bit of slack. She's still expected to keep her room tidy, sort and put away her laundry and stack/unstack the dishwasher. Plus help with meal prep at the weekends and changing bedding. Same goes for her 14yo brother.

I think expecting a minimum is a mistake. Far better to set high standards.
I think it depends on how much school work they are doing. That was always the priority for us. Then time for set extra curricular activity such as instrument practice or public speaking practice etc.
Then household chores agreed as to what is reasonable.

Mine had colour coded ribbons on towels and bedding. If they left wetbtowels on the floor they had wet towels for their next shower.

Bedding remained on the bed until they brought it down for the laundry. If they went more than a fortnight I swapped their lovely White Company bedding for cheap poly cotton in a hideous pattern.

Clothes needed to go in their colour coded laundry basket they wanted it washed. If anything was anywhere but in their bedroom it went in the bin after two reminders. I left their bedrooms as they wanted them but with a strict no food or drink upstairs rule.

They had to cook and clear supper at least once a week but got to choose what it was. They’re now all very competent cooks as young adults.

Dd is 13. No chores as such, just an expectation that she lives here too so has to pull her weight. She will do what is asked and is starting to do so without being prompted. We split general cleaning, e.g. she Hoovers, I dust. She doesn't do the bathroom but is expected to clear up after herself. She puts a wash/drier on. She helps cook and clear up. She will do a small shop or go to the dry cleaners if asked. She changes her bed.

They clean one bathroom between them. (Not brilliantly often but this has the advantage they nag each other about it).
Clean own rooms, change sheets etc whenever.
Do an additional chore a day whenever asked
They both offer too

Bring down all cups and plates etc from his bedroom, put laundry in the basket. That's it.

My boys don’t have regular jobs as such, but help as and when asked - feeding the cats, putting away wash8ng, hoovering, picking up leaves in garden, mowing grass, cleaning out cars/ washing cars

Put their laundry away ( after being asked for the 27th time)
Take wheelie bins out and in ( we live up a rural lane)
Look after animals ( when it's been pointed out animals belong to them and not me)
Empty dish washer ( while whacking each other round head with utensils)

Basically they'll do what I ask- but if I don't nag, they do nothing.

My DD (9) washes the dinner dishes and wipes down the worktops.
DS (7) clears the table and dries the dishes.
They both keep their rooms tidy (ish) and are responsible for bringing their dirty washing through and putting it away once the laundry is done.

I have two teens and I expect
Tidy bedroom at least once a week so cleaner can clean!! It’s a good incentive as otherwise she tends to move things.
Take plates to counter after dinner in particular - take their turn on the washing up rota.
Put their clean clothes away (I take to their rooms)
Feed cat if they’re up first in mornings.

I don’t expect too much - but encourage them not to leave their crap around the house. Hard as DH is a serial leave of all manner of shit about.

Ds13 clears the table after meals, puts dishes in the dishwasher, sorts out the socks and pants and puts his own laundry away. He keeps his own room (reasonably) tidy. Those jobs are done without being asked pretty much.
He will do other things if asked - he's pretty good. He does big jobs like hoovering out the car for money.

Mine did nothing. Brought washing down, left bathroom ok and would strip beds if they wanted new bedding. However They worked hard at school and were always friendly and good company. All fledged and housetrained now. I’m a rubbish housekeeper and training anyone else was just beyond me.

My dd is using studying as an excuse to do little ,she is interested 11,is studying well and I don't want to disturb this.
However she does look after her own room,change the sheets,hoover,keep it reasonably tidy.She also cleans the bathroom.She will hoover the entire house if asked.She does the laundry at weekends if I am working if I remind her.She is able to cook and helps with meals.She helps with the shopping(and stops me buying things we don't need)and puts it all away.
And I am a bit worried as we have had no teen moodiness,strops for months.