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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Dd, 15, getting threatening anonymous phone calls.

22 replies

lilibet · 06/09/2004 21:01

Started last night, two girls saying that she has been calling their friends and telling her in no uncertain terms what they are going to do to her. She doesn't know who they are and is understandably a bit scared! I took her to school today and dropped her off, but due to my working hours she has to wait 10 minutes for me outside of school if I am going to pick her up. Today some mates waited with her, but she says that she cant expect them to wait every day.

She stands there saying 'mum, fix it!' and other than switching her phone off, which she can't/won't do as its her lifeline to her friends and letting me answer it which she also won't do as 'they'll think I'm soft' I really have no idea what to do. Any suggestions?

OP posts:

hercules · 06/09/2004 21:04

I would speak to the school, police and phone company asap.

misdee · 06/09/2004 21:06

call the phone company and file a nusicence call log with them. then go to the police and do the same with them. (if they leave a voicemail one day then tell your dd to save it as eveidence.) the phone comp cant trace the calls without the police being involved.

if she doesnt want to do theat, then buy her a new sim card, tell her to only give it to her close friends and see what happens then.

tammybear · 06/09/2004 21:06

ring the phone company and see if they can block unavailable/withheld numbers. how horrible

Hulababy · 06/09/2004 21:07

Will she let you approach school about this? They may have somewhere she can wait inside until you arrive for a temporary solution.

SoupDragon · 06/09/2004 21:07

Agree with Hercules.

As it's girls, I would imagine they are all mouth and no action - that's more the way girls work - but it's not worth taking the risk.

Hulababy · 06/09/2004 21:08

Was going to add about contact the phone company too. I gather she can't find their numbers out from her phone?

hercules · 06/09/2004 21:09

I wouldnt assume there would be no action tbh hence speaking to necessary people. Girls are far worse tan boys.

hercules · 06/09/2004 21:11

sorry, dont want to worry yoy lilibet.

anorak · 06/09/2004 21:12

We had a similar problem 2 weeks ago, in this case it was DD's friend and her dad (our friend) who were receiving the calls.

Our friend called the police, and they did take it seriously. Fortunately it was all resolved amicably, the guilty party apologised and after a long chat, our friend feels that it isn't going to happen again.

SoupDragon · 06/09/2004 21:16

The girl-based bullying I experienced/witnessed was mainly psychological IYSWIM.

JanH · 06/09/2004 21:21

Oh, lilibet, I am sorry to hear this.

Yes the police can help - even when numbers are withheld they can get them, no probs.

But why are they doing this? What is she supposed to have done? Who is she supposed to have been calling and what is she supposed to have said? Agree with hercules - girls can be very nasty - although it might be meant as a "joke" I suppose.

It would be good if you could get to the bottom of it and sort it out without getting the police invlved. I think DD needs to tell you more. Hugs. XXX

hercules · 06/09/2004 21:23

the school will have a very good idea of who would be capable of doing such a thing and iiwy i'd see her head of year tomoorow.

pupuce · 06/09/2004 21:31

Soupy - psychological bullying can be very nasty and is in no way better, excusable or more justifiable than physical bullying!

Original poster

lilibet · 06/09/2004 21:37

She doesn't think it's anyone from school or I would have no hesitation in going to the deputy head - we had a bout of bullying about 2 years back and the school were wonderful and sorted it out very cleverly in less than 24 hours. I am contacting Orange about it and if we get any more I am calling the police. She is concerned about making the situation worse.

She thinks that it may be her ex's new girlfriends, friends. Bit of jealousy going on there, but she has no proof at all.

OP posts:

808state · 19/09/2004 21:07

Harrassment such as this is a criminal offence.

Would suggest you get both Orange and the police involved. They do take such matters very seriously.

808state · 19/09/2004 21:09

Such callers can and do get jailed.

Telephone operators can do a lot to help their customers tackle malicious calls. They can help you decide the best course of action, which could mean tracing future calls or changing your telephone number. Your telephone operator, whether BT or cable company, will be able to help you if you are receiving malicious calls.

BT say that almost all malicious calls can now be traced, whether they come from private, public or even mobile telephones, anywhere in the country. Phone operating companies often work closely with the police in such cases.

To help with police enquiries, keep a written record of the calls, making notes of the date, time of day, whether the voice was a man's or a woman's, what was said and whether you heard any distinctive background noises.

aloha · 19/09/2004 21:19

Agree with everyone else. Inform the police and the school and the phone company.

biketastic · 19/09/2004 21:50

Get a sports whistle and blow really hard down the phone.
They won't phone again!!
Worked for my mum once.
I do hope it is nothing more than people just being silly.
Good luck with sorting it out.

essbee · 19/09/2004 21:55

Message withdrawn

hmb · 19/09/2004 21:57

Call the police and let the school know asap. This is serious intimidation and bullying. Also call the phone company and let them know. Does she know the girls? If they think that they are 'just being silly' they ned to find out that this is a crime, and fast, before they go onto worse things.

Hope it is sorted for you soon.

Original poster

lilibet · 19/09/2004 22:07

Was amazed to see this on here. It does seem to have died a death and she is ok, They rang back a few times more or less revealed that they were who she thought they were. She was then able to defend her self better and stick up for herself. (lots of rude words shouted!!)

Thanks for the help and advice, teenage girls are wonderful - a different soap opera every night!

Sb, hope you're ok Hugs xx

OP posts:

essbee · 19/09/2004 22:14

Message withdrawn

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