About 22 years ago I went through IF treatment for years (PCOS). We conceived twins and a year later naturally conceived our third son. About two years after I had my youngest I decided to donate eggs with the same clinic that helped us conceive. My ex-husband and mother were fully supportive and I went through about 4-5 cycles which as far as I know resulted in multiple pregnancies.
Unfortunately about seven years later my children’s father and I divorced; three years later I met the love of my life and we’ve been married for eight years. When my husband and I decided to get married I told him about donating eggs. I agreed to be contacted by the clinic only in the event of a medical necessity - I never intended to have any other type of relationship with the children in the future, I still don’t. However, I wanted to make sure my husband knew and was okay with this in the event there would be a medical need for the clinic to contact me.
Fast forward to today and coming across all of these stories about families contacting their donors through these DNA testing companies has made me realize I’m going to HAVE to tell my sons they have multiple half siblings. Even if Im not in the database I don’t know if they might choose to do it themselves. Heck, a future spouse might innocently encourage them to do it.
This has created tremendous stress for me and I don’t know how on earth I’m going to tell them, much less how they may react. I would prefer to wait a few years until they’re more mature - I think I can, I just don’t want them to find out on their own. Any suggestions on how I can tell them? Fear is paralyzing me on how to do it.
Thanks so much for reading!