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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Fortnite boundaries - pre-teen son

18 replies

Deadsouls · 02/02/2019 09:38

Hello,

Please can I get some advice. My son not strictly teen, but pre-teen (11). He certainly acts like a not very pleasant teen.

I think he is playing more fortnite on the ps4 than is healthy. I would like to cut down his time on the game. The most arguments we have are around fortnite and coming off the game. I don't like how it affects him.

Has anyone got any successful stories of how they cut down fortnite time or what boundaries they have put in place, or has anyone eliminated it altogether! I'd love not to have it at all but that might be unrealistic.

Please share how you did it and how it went! Thank you so much

OP posts:

InternetRandomer · 02/02/2019 10:13

I think with Fortnite part of the problem that causes them to go mad when they’re asked to switch it off is if they’re in the middle of a game (mission?) with their friends and them suddenly leaving means they’re friends are a) annoyed and b) lose. I find that if I tell ds that I’ll be asking him to switch off at 6pm so to make sure he doesn’t start anything he won’t be able to finish by that time it really helps. I also give 5/10/15 min warnings about the time.

Lots of parents on here have banned Fortnite totally because of similar issues to yours and life has improved greatly but I’ve not found that necessary personally.

I also find less artifice about gaming time if they’re not allowed to do it every single day. We allow a few hours each day at the weekend plus two 30min slots of dc choosing during the week. In the holidays they are on it every day and I definitely notice they are more angsty about it then.

InternetRandomer · 02/02/2019 10:14

Oh and my dc are 10 and 11.

InternetRandomer · 02/02/2019 10:15

artifice = arguing

Original poster

Deadsouls · 02/02/2019 10:29

Hi internetrandomer thanks for your reply. So you have 2 x 30 mins during the week and play at weekend a few hours. I've been thinking of maybe not having fortnite in the week at all, just weekend?

May I ask if they have any other screens in the week. So will your sons watch a tablet perhaps with YouTube? If my son isn't on fortnite he watches fortnite videos on YouTube!!! Or he likes Sims. He does also have fifa which I find affects him much less than fortnite

OP posts:

IfNotNowThenWhy · 02/02/2019 10:40

Oh God yeah the Fortnite videos on YouTube..gah! I banned YouTube off the telly as my tolerance for garbage is very low! Ds looks on on them on his phone but his phone time is fairly limited.
I agree that you have to give a set time for games so they know in advance how long they have.
Personally if melt downs happened regularly aged 11 I would just remove the x box. There would be screaming, there would be crying, but you know what? They get over it, and in a couple of days they are back to their sweet selves.
Luckily for me fortnite is still played but the obsession has lifted now ds is a bit older.It seems to do something to 10/11 year old kids that is really quite sinister!

InternetRandomer · 02/02/2019 12:02

Yeah they watch YouTube videos in the week after school but that’s fine by me, they are time restricted on that as well. They watch a variety of things though. I would suggest you limit his time on the game and say if he doesn’t cooperate it’ll be removed completely. And mean it!

And yes until recently it was just weekends for gaming but we’ve introduced the 2x 30mins in the week as a reward/bribe/inventive for other reasons. Its worked very well and 30mins is hardly any time at all imo.

Vagabond · 02/02/2019 14:04

A lot of my friends have boys who have problems with this. I wish it didn't exist at all, as it seems to have caused so many problems. One of my friend's boys pulled most of his hair out of the back of his head when he was was banned from playing. His mother is beside herself.

Original poster

Deadsouls · 02/02/2019 20:11

vagabond that is terrible! I wish it didn't exist too. I hate fortnite

OP posts:

Dontcarewhatimdoing · 02/02/2019 20:15

We do no screens Monday to Thursday. TV is allowed though. 3 hours a day Fri, Sat Sun, although in reality it probably ends up being more. DS thinks I'm massively unfair, but it works. We at least don't have to have arguments about it 4 days a week.

LegoLady95 · 02/02/2019 20:20

We have no fortnite Monday, Wednesday and Friday. How long he gets at the weekend depends on what we are doing and his behaviour. I do let him do some other screen stuff like coding on his laptop, but often find that the pencil crayons come out instead which is nice! He is 10.

Rosie40 · 03/02/2019 00:20

My Ds is 13 and is a fortnite addict......it drives me mad! However, he is not allowed to let it rule his life. I give him 5/10 mins warning for tea/shower etc and when it’s time for him to switch it off “but I’m in a game” is not an acceptable excuse and he knows that. I will and do take his controller away if he’s stroppy because he’s had to turn his game off and if I think he’s been on it too long, I do make him turn it off and if he moans, he knows it will get removed. I hate the game personally but what am I supposed to do?! All his mates play it and least I know where he is haha

MercedesDeMonteChristo · 03/02/2019 13:13

We’ve banned it totally. We did everything suggested here, time limits, taking controls etc but then ds1 and ds2 had an argument over it that resulted in the computer screen smashing so it’s been deleted and life is so much nicer. Ds1 still tries to negotiate having it back and basically acts like he did when playing it when we say no so it’s clear he can’t cope with it.

Wouldyouorshouldyou · 03/02/2019 13:23

Were going through this and are in the process of time restrictions and full removal of Xbox. It's the only way to manage it. It causes such anxiety in my dc (11) that it's unhealthy. He will now be banned on weekdays and weekends are down to 2hrs max which is removed if he behaves badly.

Starlight90 · 04/02/2019 17:15

If i tell my 10 (nearly 11yr old) to get off it in 10mins snd i getbthe “oh mum!” Ill pull the plug out. I dont care who is winning.

Somewhereovertheroad · 24/02/2019 13:09

I realise this thread is from a month ago but I am just wondering for those of you who set time limit how do you do this?

Are there any options on the Playstation for time limit?

millimat · 26/02/2019 22:45

Grrrrr fortnite! My issue is that ds is at a new school and that seems to be the bond in developing friendships. I let him play online with friends but only for half an hour a day. Others seem to be on it for hours - it amazes me that they are allowed.

Isadora2007 · 26/02/2019 22:49

DS is allowed to play and seems to manage to come off without too much issue. If I understand it correctly, they can do missions and so I always ask him to complete that mission and come off after it’s done. That seems to work and they’re not very long. If friends are on it can be harder- but we negotiate around that. Maybe an extra mission that night but no xbox the next day or whatever.

JoyceDivision · 26/02/2019 22:53

We have no Fortnite. Ds in yr6.

It isn't worth it. Ds knows, as poster has mentioned, that it helps form friendships in class but to be honest the behaviour of those children in general is pretty poor and not what we want D's mixing with.

One of his friends it's horrendous when he plays it, it changes his behaviour and his parents say they hate him playing it as it changes him so much. Yet the bit where they could parent and put their foot down and ban the game isn't happening.

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