My Grandaughter is 12 and a compulsive liar and thief. Most of her lies and theft are what you might call trivial, small amounts of money, makeup items (my eyeliners.. Don't get me on the subject of she's too young to be wearing makeup!! She's not my daughter remember 😔) , she also takes food that's not hers, is a secret eater..... I am so worried about her on so many levels. She is an intelligent, beautiful, sensitive, caring and lovely girl in so many ways apart from this aspect of her. If only she could see it, she has everything going for her and has everything she needs. If she was honest and would ask, she would likely be lent or given within reason what she takes/steals. The lying is when she is found out which is frequently. Blatant denial even when faced with the facts or evidence.
Unfortunately when she was around 4/5yrs old, such an impression able age, she was around an adult (my daughters partner🙁 a very unhealthy relationship) who had these traits and used her, groomed/befriended her to get her onside, then told lies about her to get her into trouble with her mum, in front of her. She also witnessed DV. My daughter thank goodness ended the relationship for good after a year or so, but I believe the damage was done. [redacted] had learned from an expert that lying was normal its what this person did compulsively, involving her in his lies to varying degrees.
She is surrounded by a living family, she isn't spoilt but truthfully wants for nothing, she has a 7yr old brother who we know she has tried to involve in her lies. Thankfully he has told us, but this worries me too.
It's a hard one as I'm grandmother not Mum, but my daughter is equally at a loss as to how to deal with this. We have tried different tactics, giving her openings to confess, confronting her with the facts, talking to her in different ways etc...
My concern is for her future, life, relationships etc... For now she is protected within a loving family and so far as we know the lies and thefts as I mentioned before are what one might call trivial, but is this going to escalate........ What I'd like to do is get through to her that she's not a good liar /thief as we always find out so if we do eventually others will....????
This post was edited by MNHQ