16 year old wants to move out

[mumato5]

My oldest DD is 16 years old and she claims that she is in love with her boyfriend . They have been together around 6 months and I worry they're moving too fast. I feel like I'm losing control and being protective but I care for her and think she is too young. I think there are starting independency too early and I worry that without react ruction unwanted

Of course it's too bloody young, does she not want to go to university or college in a few years? Do you argue or have issues together usually?

It sounds like the usual idiot teenager fantasy if there aren't any other issues at home and she'll soon get a sharp awakening... for example, how are they going to pay for a flat? Annoyingly, at 16 it's hard to stop them from moving out .... I would very much disapprove though as they're children and 6 months is barely time to even know someone.

Can't you say he can stay over whenever, instead?

I'd make it clear you don't want her to, but if she chooses to make sure she knows you'll welcome her back whenever.

just say your happy you have found love but you want to help her make life easier rent is very expensive.If she stays with you she does not have to spend years at uni for a job she can go to college be a hair dresser or a childcare worker maybe, then you will be able to pay the rent and bills so you wont be a burden on your man.

Of course it’s too young but I moved out at age 17.

Sit down and and work out how much it’s going to cost and what’s required.

'That's nice, dear. How are you going to pay for it?'

Then get her to research how much it would cost in rent, furnishing, utilities including wifi, food, travel to college or wherever she needs to go, and everything else they'll need to pay for, then work out how she/they are going to pay for it. Don't do any of it for her. If she wants to be a grown up, she needs to do grown up things.

DH has two sisters, one brother.

DH went to uni, got a degree, got a good job. Received no help from PILs (as they didn’t want him to leave their hometown).

Brother went to uni, dropped out and returned to hometown to live with PILs. Works shit jobs, leaves them all the time, funded occasionally by PILs.

Older sister never left PILs hometown, left school at 16, worked for a year, pregnant as a teen, had babies until she hit late 30s, funded by PILs and occasional work.

Younger sister left school at 16, left hometown to live with boyfriend. Lived in squats and benefits mostly. No help from PILs. Over 10 years later decided she wanted the life DH had. Went to college, started at the bottom in an admin job, now looking at 40 and she’s done very well. Married boyfriend!

Younger sister is the only one who regrets her decisions. DH and younger sister are the only ones not receiving handouts from PILs. DH and younger sister are the only ones that own their own homes and have a secure (as much as you can these days) future.

It just depends. But no handouts, don’t make it easy for her to flake.

We've had this.
Rent round here is £600pm for a 1 bedroom flat.
We would need to be guarantors.

We said that will be about £1000 between you extra to what it costs to live at home. If you both show you can save £500 a month for 6 months then we'll go for it.

Still at home 18 months after finishing college ...

'That's nice, dear. How are you going to pay for it?'
^^This!