Desperate, I feel like I'm losing control with my 16 year old. Nothing I do or say seems to make a difference. First problem was his phone, I found out that he is speaking with strangers via Instagram, he insists he knows that this particular person is a girl. The girl is asking him questions and lives a long way away. I told him that you do not know who this person is but he says look shes a girl, I told him that you cannot take this as correct and I wanted him to stop communicating with her and only with people he actually knows. He has numerous amount of porn on his phone (some really horrible). On boxing day I saw him speaking with this girl on the phone so confiscated his phone for a week explaining why. He took his punishment and was a a completely different child. We had no disrespect over this period. However, gave him his phone back and everything changed again. I have now put a time limit on his phone with my own security code so her can only be on social media etc for two hours a day, which I believe is ample. Secondly, he really wanted his bedroom doing. My husband however, said that he never looks after his bedroom so why should we spend hundreds of pounds. However, I persuaded my husband and we agreed if our son stripped his wall paper and cleared all the junk and bagged things up and got rid of rubbish we would do it. My son stripped his wallpaper and there it has stopped. I have been nagging him to sort out the rest of his bedroom but he does not seem to want to do it. Last night I said ok, I am not mentioning your bedroom again and when you have done what needs to be done, we will start decorating and buying your new furniture. (Not sure whether that was the right thing to do). I went into his bedroom last night and it was a complete tip, sweet wrappers, bottles clothes screwed up. When I mentioned it he laughed and said what do you expect its a boys bedroom. I lost it. I just threw everything from the sides onto the floor and said if you want to live in a tip so be it. Should I leave it being a tip or do I still nag him? He also works in a garage three days a week and goes to college two days a week. He is always five minutes late to work. I've explained that he should be there five minutes early not five minutes late and when he applies for a proper job, references will need to be supplied and one of the questions they will ask will be about time keeping. He does not care. I spend my whole time nagging. There are lots of other stuff going on also, mainly attitude. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.