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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

14yo DD1 and boyfriend coming over

6 replies

sweetkitty · 16/01/2019 00:00

So DD1 has a boyfriend the same age as her. She’s besitted with him, on the phone to him 24/7 etc. He’s been over to our house a few times we’ve met him, she’s been to his house seems like a nice quiet boy.

She want to go over to his tomorrow night and we’ve said no, not on a school night. Now we are the bad guys, we’ve had the usual teenage strops from her, not tidying her room etc but nothing major.

She is very open with me and has said they haven’t had a proper kiss yet as she has braces and is scared and she would be scared to have sex. I have said come to me and talk to me before you make any decisions.

I’m not naive and stupid and there will come a point soon where they will think about or worse!

Anyway do you think we are right saying not on a school night?

OP posts:
raffle · 16/01/2019 00:03

For how long?
Are his parents there?
Can you go and collect her at a set time?

JuniperBeer · 16/01/2019 00:04

Yes. You’re her parents. It’s your job to set boundaries and she will test your patience and (not) surprisingly won’t like them! She is still only 14 and it’s all new.
No to overnight stays. At all. Be wary if she says she’s staying at a friends. Be prepared to check where she is.
But invite the lad over, invite him for dinner, they can sit in her room (door ajar is the rule) with knowing that they can be interrupted at any time. Let them go to the cinema etc. Offer lifts etc. But definitely no over nights.

Original poster
sweetkitty · 16/01/2019 00:05

Yes I think his parents are there. Yes one of us goes and picks her up.

I’ve said weekends are fine just not during the week.

OP posts:
Original poster
sweetkitty · 16/01/2019 00:06

Oh no way overnights

We are talking about afterschool to maybe 8.30pm. She is still very young and doesn’t have a lot of common sense yet.

When he’s here they shut the door but we often “interrupt” DS ho is 8 is great at this!

OP posts:
JuniperBeer · 16/01/2019 00:09

Oh! God yes. If his Parents are there. She’s done her homework. Not behind etc and her usual chores are done. Bad attitude would mean she’s. It allowed though. And the pick up time is the pick up time. No ‘I want to stay longer’ etc. And not every night. Once a week at his after school. Once a week at yours. However homework etc MUST be done, room tidy etc

JuniperBeer · 16/01/2019 00:09

‘She’s not allowed

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