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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

teenage DD friendship dramas

1 reply

whatacrapusername2306 · 13/01/2019 22:47

DD 17, has always had friendship issues. She has never had any issues making friends, just cannot keep them and there is always a huge fallout that ends it. Its a pattern I’ve seen several times now and she always insisted its never her fault. Several months ago her personality changed. She was hardly eating, washing and became moody. Very unlike her. After many failed attempts to get her to open up to me, rightly or wrongly, I snooped on her phone. Found out she had p’d off her latest group of friends big time. They are quite a fiery bunch of girls and they have had many squabbles between them all (I witnessed that first hand) which always ended up with one being left out for a few weeks. I said to DD on many occasions, please just don’t get involved. Her reply was always the same that she never does. Judging by the messages she’s received, she obviously does. The messages accuse her of bitching, backstabbing, lying, being two faced, playing them off on each other etc. All of which they have evidence of. Sadly, it seems, shes just as bad. Im guessing this is what has been happening every time a friendship ends. I never raised her to be a ‘frenemy’ type of girl. We live in a small town and if she carries on going through friends like this, she will end up being hated everywhere she goes. Do I just step back and leave her to it? She’s old enough to know what she’s doing, but Im worried she going to get on the wrong side of someone unpleasant and it’s going to get really nasty. I am feeling a bit a a failure for it.

OP posts:
Blessthekids · 14/01/2019 17:37

Sorry to hear about this.

I would support her as best you can, giving her plenty of opportunities to talk but otherwise I think you have no choice but to back off and let her sort it out or find another group of friends.

Can you gently nudge her to get a part-time job or volunteer role? This may help her to mature a bit and realise bitchy behaviour is petty and pointless. Also If she’s busy, she may not want to engage in drama.

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