Teenage mess - is there a solution

[Teenmum98]

I am looking at floordrobe, mixed in with A level text books, school notes etc etc all in a hideous jumble on floor.

I am fed up of having to constantly ask, nag, giving up and clearing it up myself because I can't stand the mess any longer. (This is not in his bedroom but in other rooms we all use)

He often loses things, forgets things, never knows when he's doing what.

Any good strategies or am I doomed to spend the next two years moaning at him.

My son was so consistently untidy that I charged him money to tidy it up x

Tidy his room up I meant, before that it was impossible without me feeling like throttling him or banging my head against the wall, money talked and worked in our case x

Yes when they go off to uni.
I miss the mess.

Get a small mischievous dog . . . anything left around in our house get shredded/played with 😉

DS2 has a really messy room. I expect all cups and plates down and washing in the laundry basket. Apart from that he's on his own. Door is shut.

He isn't messy anywhere else in the house.

DS1 is at University and I do kind of miss his messy bedroom, weirdly he manages to keep his room there tidy.

Sparkling - that is an interesting development. DS wants to go to uni but I despair of what will happen there - how will he ever manage to keep on top of it all.

I was hoping to somehow train him up over the next two years to get him to a point where he can be more organised. But maybe once he is away from home it will sink in somehow.

flamey - that an interesting idea but not sure if it will work. Now DS has the ability to earn money I have started to make him pay for things he has lost by deducting money from his pocket money. How much do you charge for clearing up mess?

I think it might be a peer pressure thing at Uni Teenmum, he lives in a house with 5 other people and they tend to have their doors propped open and he probably wouldn't want them to know how untidy he was.
He also cooks, cleans and manages to sort himself out far better than I had envisaged.

He came back for Christmas and his room was a tip within days, the suitcase was in there semi unpacked plus what he had for Christmas, stuff everywhere!

My room was a disgrace growing up but now I like everything neat and tidy so there's always hope.

Sounds like DS except it’s gcse textbooks!
He occasionally deigns to tidy up if I threaten to turn the WiFi off. He always complains he can’t find anything - that’s cos it’s full of crap. Every weekend I think that I’ll help him sort it and then we don’t...

Daily bursts!

Have just started implementing these with DP and DSS - everyone gathers in the living room, DP turns on some music, loud, and we have a ten-minute sprint around the house putting away / straightening / wiping / ordering as much as we can. Then reconvene to have a glance around and see how things are looking and decide if we want a second burst or if things are looking nice enough.

Takes twenty minutes maximum and it's amazing what you can get done (especially if you just spend your 10 minutes chucking all your DS's stuff from around the house into his room to deal with himself )

DSS is 12, so dashing around the house is still fun and getting him to participate might be a lot easier from getting your older teen to play, but could be worth a shot!

DH is the messy one in this house.

I despair at it.

BUT.... it has meant that the DDs have wanted order and tidiness in their rooms, which are spotless. DD1 has had a tidy room that she keeps that way herself since she was about 5. DD2 took a bit longer, but when she was 10 she suddenly started being proud of her room, which is now spotless too.

DH's messiness, contrarily, results from his parents being super-super tidy and minimalistic and throwing anything away that was finished with or lying around, so I think it's his reaction to that. And I think the DD's reaction to his semi-hoarding state is to be very tidy themselves.

I was super messy at home as a teen. When I got to uni I was super tidy and organised. As an adult my house is clean and tidy apart from two confined area of mess my desk in my office which I tidy twice a year and the spare room which I tidy regularly.
Teen bedroom untidiness is not an indication of long term untidiness.

I threaten to use DDs allowance to pay for a cleaner and this seems to do the trick.

I expect them to tidy up after making food and put washing in the laundry as a minimum. Their bedrooms must be reasonably tidy and no food upstairs.

We have the same requirements backintine they don’t always comply but they know they it’s their responsibility and it gets done eventually