Seriously how do you keep calm and not react to them :-(

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

Ds 14 is kicking off because hes not allowed on the xbox because hes been sent home from school for feeling ‘sick’ apparently. The xbox is upstairs and they share a room so now his brother has come home and is on the xbox so he is deliberately annoying him and slyly hitting him!!! Ive just had a go at him and told him to leave him alone and to come downstairs to watch a film and hes refusing. Hes now stomping, banging, throwing things and saying he hates his family, he hasnt done anything wrong and he hopes we all go to hell. I am trying really hard not to bite but its so hard!!!

Ignore, ignore, ignore. He wants the attention. I assume he isn't actually unwell?

I used to just turn the internet off x

A timer works well too x

Remind yourself of the guilt you will feel in the ensuing days if you lose the rag and let rip - just keep ignoring

You make him come downstairs, it's not an option.

Deep breaths and walk away, he wants a showdown, don't give him what he wants (easier said than done I know)

I feel your pain. I have one like this too, they know which buttons to press.
I explain to mine that he doesn't 'have to' come downstairs (because lets face it I cant physically force him to) but if he doesn't there will be a further consequence, on rare occasions he manages to get himself a 3 day total screen ban.
I sound like a bloody stuck record constantly taking away tech and limiting screen time but it seems to be the only thing he cares about.

Thank you its so hard, i dont think he is ill not ill enough to come home anyway!! Hence why hes not allowed on the xbox. Its difficult because he says the most horrible things and forgets how much we do for him!! Cant physically make him come down and he is not listening stairs so have managed to set xbox up downstairs and took his phone off him trying to ignore the tantrums!!

My DD is generally very easy going. When she is stressed she can explode and say the most hurtful nasty things. Things like “you are so lazy, you don’t do anything for me, you don’t give a shit about me”, etc etc. It’s very hurtful, especially when we are on the road taking her to camp and it’s the last place I want to be (M25) on a Friday night. She says sorry afterwards but it is truly hard to keep calm. They push us to get a reaction.

Dd has a medical condition and sometimes misses school. He knows it's a no x box rule if he is home inside school hours.. Yanbu to insist on this imo.