Reality check

[Yorkshiremum17]

I'm in need of a reality check! My DH turned 50 last summer, I turn 50 next month. We have a 14 year old ds. DH & I have booked 3 nights away in a grown up hotel for us to celebrate reaching a milestone birthday, we go in may half term by which time DS will be 15. We don't live local to family so can't go during term time.We have arranged for DS to go stay with my outlaws in their home for the half term holiday. He would normally go stay with my parents, but they only have a small 2 bedrooms bungalow and my sister, her dh and 2 kids are staying with my parents that week.

My mum has just had a complete hissy fit that he's not staying with them and also because we apparently never do anything with our son, and are cruel to have 3 nights away without him staying in a posh hotel. We should take him away with us and let him have the experience of a hotel like this.

He is celebrating our actual birthdays with us, the only time we have gone to a b&B without him is when he had been on holiday with my mum or has been on a scout camp! He is going on an expensive scout camp later on this year but we can't afford the hotel when he will be at camp.

Are we being cruel to him, or is it acceptable for us to take a few days just for us? My mum has taken the shine off this for me now and I feel like the worst parent in the world. Actually having a little cry because, I feel so shit about it.

I think your mum is out of order here. I think it is perfectly acceptable to have a few days away to celebrate. Does she think your DS is missing out on something?

Honestly, stop crying, ignore your mum and go and enjoy your break.

Ignore you mum!

He's 14 not 4. He will cope without you for a few days

Your mum's on glue.

First time my parents left me for a weekend I was 15. My mum left so much pre-cooked food in the fridge and freezer I could have survived a zombie apocalypse.

I don't know why because I could cook.

Your mum sounds like mine.
I got a full week of stropping and a right telling off because my DH took me to the cinema and then dinner on my birthday and I did celebrate with the kids!!

I didn’t sorry

Unless there is a huge back story your mum is being ridiculous?

You mum has definitely had some kind of trigger press. Maybe she's jealous because you are doing exactly what she would like to have done!

Ignore her. Maybe send her some "calming tea" like my daughter did to me once :) And have a wonderful birthday!

Your mum is being very unfair making you feel guilty like that and as if your son would want to stay in a hotel with his mum and dad anyway!! You go and enjoy yourself.

Your mum is being silly. When you are of a certain age, ahem, like myself, the idea of a posh hotel with afternoon tea, four poster beds and grounds to walk around sounds absolutely awesome. I do not think most teenagers would feel the same and honestly would he want to see his parents getting romantic, no!

I hope you and dh have a wonderful time.

Thanks everyone, I didn't think it was such a horrible thing to do this, but my mum made me really doubt myself.

I think there is probably a lot of truth to the point that she is jealous of our relationship and she does have form for making me feel crap about my parenting choices and myself in general. Problem is you get so close to it that you can't see what's right and what's not.

I appreciate your thoughts.