15yo DD is being bullied.

[dragonstitcher]

My 15 year old DD is a victim. She has always been a natural target for bullies. She bites (figurativly) when teased, tells tales and whines. She has always acted young for her age and is quite niave.

Now she is being bullied by her so called friends. Girls and boys that she has been friends with for years have 'matured' (I use the word very loosely) faster than her and she acts too young for them. They are allowed out late at night, their mums probably don't know where they are and as I have a tighter reign on DD due to her niavity, she is getting tormented for it. Mummys girl they call her. They are constantly on her back because she isn't interested in having sex yet, and has to be in before dark.

Also, she is very dark haired and has an acne problem. Because she is dark haired the fluff that we are have shows up more. She has a dear little bit of fluff under her chin and because of that they are calling her The Bearded Lady. She wants me to buy all kinds of expensive lotions and potions for acne, none of which work. Her problem is because she won't eat veg and spends dinner money on junk. We have to buy stuff to bleach or remove hair, but I'm tired of having to spend money I haven't got just to appease these bullies who will just find something else to pick on. She is a beautiful girl and won't believe me that they are just jealous.

'the fluff that we are have' should be 'all have'. Doh!

Your poor dd. Nighmare age to be at school, the peer pressure is unbelievable.
As for the 'fluff', I had a bit of facial hair at school, I barely noticed it until I became known as 'the one with the moustache', this made me bleach it pretty sharpish & I'm still paranoid now about getting rid of it all. Watching that Shazia Mirza program last night shows that's society's problem as a whole. I think you should continue to support your dd's efforts to get rid of her fluff as it will improve her self-confidence, maybe that'll help her move on from her current 'friends'?

My DD suffered with terrible skin too. We went to the GP and asked for a lotion called Zineryt, which was recommended to us by a friend who is a consultant.

It worked within 10 days and then she just used it when she felt new spots emerging.

She had a repeat prescription for it.

dd1 had a similar problem with her friends, and skin wrt acne

i gave her the usual pep talk, told her it was htem who had the problem and not her, and encouraged her to break away from the group, saying she didnt have to stay friends with them from habit

i also went down to the school and spoke to the head of year, and she took it v seriously (she was refusing to go to school because of it), and they did manage to sort it all out

she has a new group of v nice friends now, but it was extrememly painful for her to go through at the time

as for her skin, i took her to hte gp and htey tried various potions, we seem to have found something that has it under control now

your poor dd i really feel for her

Acne is not linked to eating 'junk' food or not eating vegetables. Acne problems in teenagers are often hormonal.

She really should see a GP about it.

Afraid I don't see anything 'dear' about 'fluff' on the face.

In fact, it, too, may also be indicative of a hormonal imbalance and should be checked out by a GP.

It's entirely possible to treat such issues.

Agree with expat - acne is quite controllable and lots of hair is embarrassing at best, could indicate PCOS or similar at worst. Self esteem issues also sound like a problem here.

Take her to see a sympathetic GP.

And if you get nowhere with the GP, I'd try your nearest Family Planning or Well-Woman Clinic.

No, they're not there just for contraception, they're there for female health issues - and acne and excess facial hair is part of that.

Facial waxing at a salon doesn't very much and should last a few weeks. I know it isn't ideal but perhaps it would stop that part of the bullying and let her have a bit of peace.

There were so many kids bullied in my school for having a decent haircut for example, and couldn't help but think that for the sake of spending a little money or giving a little advice on how to look a bit smarter, their parents could have saved them from years of teasing and abuse.

In an ideal world it wouldn't happen but teenagers are SO obsessed with appearance, it's very sad.

A laser is probably better than electrolysis for the hair, particularly if the person has dark hair and light skin.

Please try not to infantize her.

Maybe you think she's naive, maybe she is.

My own elder daughter is.

But she's going to be in a woman's body, and best try as I can to get her used to that.

I am a naturally hairy person, I'm just eternallly grateful my mother helped me before I got bullied for it.

Cowing to society?

There is enough time to do that when she is an adult, why ruin her adolescence because of it?

Also, it may well be a hormonal disorder like PCOS. This can have HUGE health ramifications for her throughout her life. Better to be aggro about it and find out if this is true NOW, not when she's 35 and trying to get pregnant.

Bullying can drive people to suicide.

A person's life is worth more than the cost of some laser treatment or pressing the GP for some birth control pills to help it go away.

dragon stitcher

I would have to agree with expat here - the root cause of the hirsuitism (medical term for hair growth) and the acne needs to be properly addressed. The causes of this are often hormonal and in that regard polcystic ovarian syndrome cannot be ruled out.

If her periods are also irregular in nature this is yet another symptom.

Her problem is certainly NOT due to her eating junk food and no vegetables.

Am sorry but I also do not regard any hair under her chin as "dear". Its likely killing your daughter's self esteem and worth that she's being called such names.

Would suggest you take a look at Verity's website which is www.verity-pcos.org.uk as it has lots of info on it re all aspects of PCOS. You also need to find a GP that will take her problems seriously because many will not. Do not be fobbed off. You can choose to do your daughter a big service here if you so wish.

I didn't mean the fluff was endearing, you have misunderstood. 'dear little' mean't 'very little'. Honestly I can hardly see it. I am going to get her some veet facial wax strips as soon as I have some spare cash. My tax credit has been reduced recently and I am struggling financially. The acne problem is not acute either. I am tempted to post a link of DD so you can see how beautiful she is and how nasty these so called friends are for making a fuss out of nothing.

I am sure your DD is very beautiful but anything like a bit of extra hair is picked on... its not nice, but its life, I'm afraid. Please go without something to buy some lotions and potions to get rid of any excess hair.
It really really matters when you are that age. I would not suggest the wazing strips because hair on the face can be quite tough... I would use Superdrug hair removal cream in a tube - it costs about a fiver... you leave it on for 5 mins and hey presto, it has disappeared.

If she is spending her dinner money on junk, why give her dinner money? If she doesn't have the money, she wouldn't spend it, would she? Make her a healthy lunchbox.