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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Hairs on back?????

23 replies

Toffeeapple · 28/06/2007 10:15

Hi, my little girl is not a teenager, but I thought I would ask for your experiences.
I am increasingly worried about her as she has dark hairs on her back, ie from the back of her neck down to her buttocks and they are quite long.
We are quite hairy in the family and I suppose I have some hairs in my back (top and lower but not in middle) but I am lucky enough to be blond, and I do not think I had any as a little girl.
The poor thing is quite dark (she has the most beautiful, shiny dark hair), but she is only 3 and I am SO worried the hairs are gonna grow even longer when she gets older.
Any mums of teenagers who could help me? (ie any little girls with hairs on back that lost them as they grew older?)
I feel like bleaching them but obviously she does not see it as a problem yet and it could really burn her skin so NO WAY.
I thought of asking her GP but I would not want to do anything about it if there was a treatment for it (too early I think), so I do not see the point, and I do not want to get her attention on it.
What do I do? Reassurance please!

P.S: Cannot use apostrophes on my keyboard at the moment hence the, cannot, do not, etc....

OP posts:
themoon66 · 28/06/2007 11:44

Difficult one. I was a very dark, hairy child. I can't say I've grown out of it, just

themoon66 · 28/06/2007 11:48

Ooops... posted too soon.... hair-trigger problem.

themoon66 · 28/06/2007 11:52

Difficult one. I was a very dark, hairy child. I can't say I've grown out of it, just got blonder as the years have gone on. I have quite thick coarse blonde hairs in the small of my back, but I've never suffered nasty teasing, just gentle teasing IYSWIM. DH says it looks 'cute'.

I do remember nagging and weeping at my mum to let me pluck my monobrow though. She wouldn't let me pluck till I was about 14 as she said 'once you start you'll have to keep doing ot'..... dur, well, yeah... that's what I WANT to do mother dear!

expatinscotland · 28/06/2007 11:54

I'm so glad I had a mother who supported our efforts at hair removal fully.

I can only imagine how miserable I'd have been if she hadn't.

Yes, it's a cruel society and we should all embrace our inner gorilla and blah blah blah, but you know, I don't like being naturally hairy and have been waxing for years.

If I could afford it, I'd have just about all my body hair lasered off for good.

If my daughters turn out to be as hairy and they don't like it, I'd be willing to help them pluck, wax or even laser if it's affordable.

foxinsocks · 28/06/2007 11:58

dd is still v hairy - v similar to what you describe (she is dark too).

I really don't think there's much point worrying about it now (at age 3). If you think the hair is excessive, it might be worth asking the GP (because I think there are some medical conditions that cause excessive hair, aren't there?).

But it sounds pretty normal to me.

Original poster
Toffeeapple · 28/06/2007 14:04

Thanks everyone for your replies, I sort of feel better about it now. I think the fact that they are so long is quite shocking.
My son on the other hand has not got a hair on his body (he is only a baby but DD was covered in them when she was born, although a lot has disappeared now), typical.

OP posts:
binkleandflip · 28/06/2007 14:11

I am dark and was teased a lot at secondary school for having very having hairy legs (I also had a monobrow - what a looker!!). I wish that my mum had took me in hand and sorted me out a lot sooner to be honest. My dd is 5 and is very dark and does have quite hairy legs (very cute, she's like a little troll!) but when I think the time is right, I'll start grooming her until she's old enough to sort herself out. I'll do it for her own good. I'm a beauty therapist so I know she wont object as she's itching to get into all my potions

Original poster
Toffeeapple · 28/06/2007 14:19

Oh yeah! I will definately do all the necessary as I understand what it is like to be hairy!!! I will let her wax, bleach pluck you name it, I will even do it myself or pay for her to have it done! Defo! My sister is quite dark and has hairs in her back, but she does not find it a problem at all, she just bleaches them.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 28/06/2007 14:20

I plan to do this, too, Toffee.

If they don't like it I'll help them get rid of it to the best of my abilities, just as my mum did, thankfully.

Original poster
Toffeeapple · 28/06/2007 14:22

Binkleanflip, is it ok to wax your back then? Or a bit dogey. I think my sister tried to do it and it grew back so she now bleaches it.

OP posts:
binkleandflip · 28/06/2007 14:23

It is ok to wax your back, but obviously not necessary for a small child. Of course the hair will grow back, but over time it will grom more finely as each time the hair is waxed. the root is weakened.

Original poster
Toffeeapple · 28/06/2007 14:28

i suppose it would be dangerous to bleach it at her age would it not?
What is the best thing to use for bleaching hairs? (i am asking 4 myself now, hope you do not mind)
Anyone else having trouble with apostrophes on this site?

OP posts:
binkleandflip · 28/06/2007 14:30

I deifnately wouldnt bleach her hairs at this age at all. For the face Jolen bleach is very good, for the body, you can get specific hair lightener from boots which is suitable for use on the back, arms, etc.

foxinsocks · 28/06/2007 14:31

toffee - I can promise you she won't even notice yet! My dd is 6/7 and hasn't even commented on it.

I have the same situation as you as I have a ds who is blonde and not very hairy too (where his sister is dark)! I can see it will be a problem for dd once she's older but that's still years away and we'll deal with it when it comes up.

Honestly, children do not notice these things when they are so young. Be careful around her so that she doesn't pick up that it's an issue for you.

Original poster
Toffeeapple · 28/06/2007 14:37

Oh yeah I agree with you fox, do not worry (Oh I wish I could use apostrophes, I sound so silly), I ve tried to be extra discreet about it and never talked about it in front of her, I really don t want her to worry about it because of me, after all, she might be one of those people who don t mind at all when she grows up.
That s partly why I haven t taken her to the GP.
DH does think it s silly to worry about that but he s a man he doesn t know what it s like.
I do appreciate all your replies, it s good to know I m not alone.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 28/06/2007 14:44

oh that's good - sorry, wasn't implying you weren't being careful but it's hard to tell on here!

I do know what you mean! I'm lucky in that I'm fair and have not really had to worry about this stuff but I hope I can take a leaf out of expat's mum's book and sort it all out for dd when the time comes!

funkimummy · 28/06/2007 14:54

My little boy is the same. We thought it was the hair that premature babies sometimes are born with.....but he's 4.5 now. Thick dark hair all over his back.

Original poster
Toffeeapple · 29/06/2007 14:33

Really? Surely that's gonna change when he grows older. A friend of my sister's was like that as a little girl, but she hasn't got any today (at least that's what my mum said to me yesterday, but she's got the poorest memory ever).
Let's keep our fingers crossed that they will grow out of it (at least yours is a boy he can get away with it).

OP posts:
Original poster
Toffeeapple · 29/06/2007 19:30

Oh my god. I've just read something about polysistic ovaries syndrome, which I was told I might have by the doctor (didn't interfere with my fertility at all), the symptoms being excessive hairs, irregular period but no problem with weight at all (more on the thin side). Do you think DD might have that? Or is she too young to diagnose it?
Not that it's the end of the world or anything, but just wondering.

OP posts:
funkimummy · 29/06/2007 21:11

Hi,

I think your DD is probably too young to diagnose PCOS. Most don't get diagnosed until at least early teens. Perhaps it's something worth mentioning to your GP next time you're there.

Re waxing further down the thread - it's perfectly harmless. I'm a Beauty Therapist by trade, and have waxed many a body!

It's not quite true that the root is weakened and therefore the hairs grow less fine. This is not the case. They grow exactly the same as they will always have done. The reason they appear in a sparse pattern after waxing is because each hair has it's own growth cycle, and thus when one hair is in it's infancy, another might be ready to shed and a new one be right behind it. The one main difference to bear in mind for future waxing (if needed) is that because the hairs are pulled out against the natural growth pattern, when they grown back, they sometimes grow in the direction they were pulled out (which for most of the back will be in an upwards direction instead of down.)

Also re the hairs growing longer. Almost all body hair will only grow to a certain length before falling out. (exceptions - head and pubic area as they shed at a slower rate than the rest of the body.) So doubtful they'll get any longer than they are now.

iliketrees · 29/06/2007 21:30

I'm pretty hairy myself and DD is worse than I was at her age (back, sideburns and on her forehead poor thing). DS on the other hand is as dark as she but smooth as a peach. sod's law or what! I have often wondered whether it might be related to the fact that I had steroids before DD was born. any thoughts? Also I agree entirely about helping her groom - my mum didn't have a clue (hairless that she is) and just left me and sis up to our own devices - it wasn't pretty . I have recently found a great home waxing product from Australia called NADS - green and sugary but is fantastic and really painfree cos the wax only attaches to hair and not to skin - highly recommend it for younger girls who could be freaked out by pain of waxing.

Original poster
toffeeapple · 30/06/2007 14:58

I don't know about the steroids Iliketrees, but funnily enough when I was pregnant with DD my hairs grew A LOT. I even had some on my chest and neck really fine ones but really long!! (they've gone now thank god).
On the other hand I had a lot less hairs when pregnant with my son and he's not hairy.
Funkymummy thanks for your advice, it's true I've waxed my arms and the hairs grew back upwards. I've stopped doing it though now as I seem to have less and they seem blonder.

OP posts:
mummabear1 · 16/09/2012 03:46

Toffeeapple, I know this is an old thread ... but was wondering how you had got on with your daughter? I have two daughters much the same and looking for some advice :) Any natural improvement in the hair situation as she has aged?

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