14yo period problems

[DanceTeacherMom]

So my 14 year old, has had her period for 4ish months now. I only know this because of sanitary towels in the bin etc. However, she has yet to bring it up with me. We have family shared sanitary products, so they get replenished anyway and it isn’t a problem. However, I don’t know if I should bring it up with her, or leave her too it as she seems to be coping fine. Another point I should make is she is trying to hide it as if she is ashamed. She hides the towels at the bottom of the bin and she often disconnects from the world for a week every month. Please help.

Why don’t you talk to her about it?

I am guessing from your post that your communication with your DD is quite superficial in general.

It's not the sort of thing I felt that I could speak to my mum about.

Maybe just throw it into conversation when you are writing a shopping list "Do you need anything different/in particular as I've noticed that you have started your periods?".

My only problem with it is, when she was 12-13 I used to ask her all the time, and she’s get embarrassed, so I don’t know whether she does rather not. I might just buy her a ‘starter pack’ and put It on her bed, just to signify that I know. She never complains of cramps etc. So i don’t know if she’s to embarrassed to tell me or if she just by chance has it easy.

I think you’ve got a bigger problem than just periods.

She’d just*

I wouldn't worry OP, I hid it from my mum for a good few months. I was embarrassed to tell her but I eventually did. Just let her know you know and if she needs anything she can come to you.

She sounds like me when I was 12. In the end there were no sanitary products left in the bathroom and I had to tell my Mum. I was so embarrassed and I don't know why! I even cried but was glad to tell her. Maybe bring it up and say if she needs anything don't be afraid to ask and leave it at that. Definitely keep the products topped up!

I am not a parent but look after a 12 year old girl now who I've looked after since she was a baby. I've made it clear that she can always come to me about it. It is a little embarrassing bringing it up as I always revert back to that 12 year old myself! No idea why as I have no problem talking about my period these days and I am a big fan of the Mooncup having used that since I was 17 (and it changed periods for me!)

She has a very over the top, ‘your getting really big now’ grandma aswell, so I think she’s afraid her grandma will find out and say something embarrassing. I think I’ll bring it up, and just say we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but don’t be embarrassed to talk to me. + I won’t tell grandma. My mum never talked about it with me as a child, I started at 14 and just sealed with it, however I’d hide wrappers of pads around my room because I was scared to put them in the bin invade my mum saw. I think the way my daughter purposefully doesn’t hide the things is her way of letting me know.

Buy a pretty storage box to keep in the bottom of her wardrobe. Just for her. Fill it with a variety of sanitary products and a few bars of chocolate, face masks, girly stuff. Don't make a fuss. Your actions will show you know and care. Maybe buy her a bin to keep in her room.

I had a terrible experience when I started. I clearly remember my mother telling the neighbour I'd just started my period. It was the first time I had confided in her to. I used to hide dirty pants and pads in my bag and draws because I didn't know what to do with them.

I had a very similar experience. I’m on my way out to the supermarket just now, and I had a chat with her explaining I’m here if she needs help. I’ll text her and ask if she needs anything because I think she’ll feel more comfortable over text. I’ll buy her a nice box and some other bits to put inside. Thanks for that advice.

It breaks my heart that my dd (9) could ever be like this (as I was - and even now I sneak my used pads into my mums bin when she isn't looking ). I never discussed problems with friends or bf with her either. I'm hoping that my relationship with dd is/will be more open, but time will tell. Good luck OP.