What age do you think is the worst teenage stage?? Give me hope 😬

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

Ds turned 14 in October so is in year 9 and I can honestly say I’m not liking him much at the moment 😞. He is just so ungrateful and selfish. Nothing we do is good enough or fair. He wants to spend all day everyday on the Xbox, thinks he should go to bed when he wants ( if he stays up past 10pm he’s horrendous next day!!). He is lazy and doesn’t help with anything even things like emptying his own bag or making his bed, he won’t shower for days and just eats and moans sayig he doesn’t care or he hates his life!! The attitude and answering back has peaked to the point I now have to ignore or walk away!!! Please tell me it will get better!! 😬

The earlier teen years, for sure.
It's great at the top end, once they can drive, and pick you up from a night out

I'd say generally 15 is the worst age. Most stroppy and boundary pushing and impatient to grow up. DH and I have 6 between us aged 15-21 and all the 18+ ones are lovely (though do occasionally still cause us real worries). My 15 year old is hard work but I'm hoping it'll get better soon. It did foot the older ones.
They all learned to shower by about 14 though so you may find that improves sooner. Don't be afraid to be blunt and tell him he smells. It's your duty as a parent to point it out before anyone else does

13-19

oh yes Sofia give me a 2 yo any day

Anywhere from 13 to 19, I’d say.

Both of mine are out the other side now, thank goodness (and they weren’t actually all that bad, tbf.

Yes, 14 is a difficult age. They do come out the other side as decent human beings eventually, I promise.

Suddenly one day he’ll actually want to shower, and need a new bottle of lynx every month. Then you’ll know that somewhere there’s a girl he’s trying very hard to impress.

Watching with interest. I have a 13yo, also in year 9. She is delightful at the moment, most of the time anyway - she has the odd stroppy moment but don't we all?! Waiting to see if it's all going to go downhill from here...

Part of me thinks omg I’ve raised an awful human being as he is just so selfish and ungrateful 😞. I find so difficult not to bite!! I was hoping by 15 he might be coming through it!!!

He can't help it, it's normal, hormones & all that

With my three, all boys, I found cutting them a bit of slack, not nagging, praising the occasional good things they did & giving hugs whether they wanted them or not, just to show them I still loved them even when they were being horrible, went a long way.

And I wouldn't tolerate rudeness or disrespect, that's never acceptable however many hormones are raging. I made that crystal clear. They still need boundaries even though they are pushing against them.

By 16 or 17 they were turning into nice young people & now, in their 20s they are fab. But it was a tough road at times.

Yesterday I told my 18yo that he'd better wear longjohn's and gloves as it's colder here than at home. And instead of finding 101 reasons why he shouldn't he just went and put them on because he thought my reasoning made sense. That is the difference between young teens and older teens. Knowing he has the power to do what he wants makes him far more willing to think about what he's doing.

Oh god my DD was awful when she was 14/15, by 16 she started to turn a corner. I feel like 17 is where they come out the other side as they have that independence, are a bit more knowledgable and I think DD learnt to appreciate a bit more.

DD is 20 now and she is utterly lovely, have fantastic conversations and is very helpful.

OP are you a fly on the wall in my house you described my 11 year old to the letter!

Completely agree with Drama - making allowances for hormones and emotional turbulence, not sweating the small stuff, but absolutely making it clear that rudeness and disrespect is not acceptable behaviour.

14 was pretty horrendous with my dd. She's a really lovely girl but boy can argue for England when asked to do something she doesn't want to do. Hormones play a huge part I think. I learned on here to ignore the arguing and to not contribute to the negative spirals as I had been doing, and it was really good advice. Just calmly keep on plodding towards your objective.

Now she is 15 and a half yrs, it's still not easy, but things are slightly better I think. We are able to reason with her more before she explodes!

My theory is, is that mobile phones are making things worse. All the teenage angst and hostility is designed to enable them to make a split from parents and prepare to lead an independent life. The teens who find this the hardest tend to be the most difficult. And phones I think and dependence on technology in general are making teens less autonomous thus contributing to the negative cycle! That's my take on it anyway but I could be wrong!

In my experience 13-17

It seems to vary hugely depending on the individual teen. DD2 was something of an early Developer and noticeably stroppy at 12/13, while DD1 only really hit nightmare phase at 16. Thank goodness they're both out of it now, at 20 and 16. DD1 actually thanked us recently for raising her to be so non- materialistic, which is a marked contrast to the 'you have enough money to give me a new iPhone so why the hell can't I have one' 'tude of a few years ago. We deliberately curbed the amounts we spent on them, and now as a student she's able to stay within her budget and do her own finances. But boy, it was a horrific process.

DS is 14.5. It’s a tough age for boys I think. They’re going through puberty, working themselves out, wanting to be independent but also not really that sensible!!
Mine loves to lose things, grunts, is a semi-hermit with online gaming/chatting, has a permanent floordrobe, basically pretty normal 😆

16-19 and counting

11-16 and hoping

Before I opened your post I thought 14.

I think we all got better at navigating it all by the following year.

I read some research which said parents were more upset for longer by conflict with teens than the teens themselves. Mine certainly bounced/ bounces back quickly so I learned to stop feeling guilty or that I was "failing".

My DS was an absolute pain in the arse throughout year 10/11 at school, so 14/15/16. Hes 16 now but at college. There are improvements. He's still a selfish arsehole. But interspersed with thoughtful and kind moments. Like getting a job just so he can buy his brothers Christmas presents...

I have a 14yr old DS like this

I pull him up on rudeness, but let a lot of things slide as well, basically I judge when to get cross, and when to cut him a break for being tired and hormonal and emotional

I also still cuddle him when I can, even though he rolls his eyes, I tell him he is my sweet little boy and amazing and gorgeous

It's like an emotional rollercoaster....

Teenage boys...I'd say 15
Teenage girls....a little younger 14 perhaps