DD16 has met a boy online who she wants to meet
halseyismyname123 · 19/12/2018 15:32
They got talking on an app called Yubo (Tinder for under 18s she says ) and soon after they added each other on Snapchat. They've been talking for about a week and yesterday he asked if she'd like to go to the cinema with him after Christmas. She said yes, and that's when she told me about this lad. Apparently he is the same age (school year above, he's at college DD Y11), they like the same music, have the same sense of humour and she says he is very respectful, she doesn't think he's just after one thing. He does live in the far north of our city (we're far south) but he offered to meet DD at a cinema near us.
I was a little bit taken aback. I obviously gave the "40 year old perv" talk but she won't entertain the idea. She says that if he was a perv he wouldn't have offered to meet her in a public area 10 minutes away from her house. And also that all of his social media has been going years and seems genuine. She let me have a look at his social media and nothing about that raises any red flags, he seems to have a good consistent friend group etc and posts how you would expect a 16 year old lad to but I'm still not sure.
She wants to meet up sometime in between Christmas and New Year. They plan to meet at the shopping mall where the cinema is at about 5ish and then get something to eat afterwards. Then part ways as the lad has to get a train home. DD plans to walk home as we live just outside the town and it's a 10 minute walk.
I'm leaning towards letting her do it because at 16 she is more than capable of sneaking out and meeting him anyway if I say no. Whereas at least if I'm in the know I can check up on her through text/pick her up if she gets uneasy. I've given her a bit of a lecture "always stay where you are surrounded by people, don't leave your drink unattended, don't be afraid to say no" etc. Stuff that applies to meeting someone from online anyway, not just when it's teenagers. Am I taking the right approach here. I posted this on AIBU but havent gotten any replies thus far
IHaveBrilloHair · 19/12/2018 15:34
Dd17 met her bf on Instagram, they met in a public place in a busy city center, he's a decent boy.
I'd let her.
Squeegle · 19/12/2018 19:24
Any chance he could come to your house and meet there? Then you could meet him?
AlanaMay · 30/12/2018 22:17
I would go with DD, incognito. Loiter at the shopping centre to make sure it IS a 16 year old boy and not a 40 year old man, and then stay in the vicinity in case the cinema date did not go well. She would be supportive of this.
orcada · 31/12/2018 06:45
Can your daughter not go with a female friend? that would be much better as she'd be there to advise her.
fairiedemon · 31/12/2018 06:52
Meeting at the house is a terrible idea. Who on earth thinks handing out your address to an internet stranger is a wise idea?
littleleeleanne · 31/12/2018 07:16
I would let her but be there when she meets up with him (lurking in the background) and also would offer to pick her up instead of her walking home.
Amimissingsomethinghere · 31/12/2018 07:20
I would drop and pick her up and wait (without her knowing) to check he wasn’t a 40 year old. In any case drop and pick her up.
ButtMuncher · 31/12/2018 07:24
I'd also drop and pick her up.
Skittlesandbeer · 31/12/2018 07:24
Trench coat & sunglasses, all the way 😎. I’d be supportive, then I’d spy on their meeting with a crystal clear conscience. I’d also insist on being able to track her location via her mobile phone, and probably go and pick her up. I think it’d be good for the lad to know someone is expecting her at a certain place, certain time.
Iputthescrewinthetuna · 31/12/2018 07:24
Did they meet OP?
headinhands · 31/12/2018 07:34
I went with dd15 to a different city to meet a lad she'd got friendly with. He was with an older brother. Me and older brother just sat on a different table to give them some room.
headinhands · 31/12/2018 07:35
And we all added each other on FB a while before we met.
halseyismyname123 · 01/01/2019 22:09
Iputthescrewinthetuna Yes, 3 days ago. With me in the shopping centre with my 3 year old keeping an eye on them from afar. He was who he said he was and DD is still talking to him. Though now we face a whole new set of issues, as he wants DD to come to his house at some point. Now it's come to me saying that she needs to have a few more public dates with him first!
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