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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

14 year old DD phone

7 replies

Malibucyprus · 17/12/2018 13:39

My eldest DD is 14.5, she's had a mobile phone now for a few years, to start with I kept an eye on her phone, made sure she didn't have any unsuitable apps, took it off her at bedtime etc...

I've been slack with doing this for about 6 months now, I don't monitor her usage, apps …. anymore.

Do you think she's old enough, or should I still be checking up on her? I'm torn between thinking she's old enough to have privacy, but still too young to have free reign?

OP posts:
coolcrispwinter · 17/12/2018 13:55

Yes, too young. It is the sort of age they could be targeted by people that really don't have their best interests at heart.

I would just say I needed to take her phone to review security settings etc. Cite any horror story you care to mention. I take it you pay the bill so you are responsible for the account. Simple.

coolcrispwinter · 17/12/2018 13:57

And just do this periodically and randomly so she's used to it.

Totorosfluffytummy · 17/12/2018 14:38

Still check now and then while she's still young.
At that age there's a lot of online bullying, online peer pressure, friends (especially boyfriends or fake-online-friends) asking for personal photos etc which will probably go on for years..

Original poster
Malibucyprus · 19/12/2018 13:47

I've checked her phone, without her knowledge and am so glad I did!!

Parents of teens, please be aware of the app YUBO, which advertises itself as a place for local teens to make friends, it's available to over 13's, it's basically Tinder for teens.

OP posts:
SuperMommy63 · 20/12/2018 04:34

You shouldn't trust her. I have monitors and trackers on both of my ds's phones and computers. ds1 found a way to get around these, so now he has a tracker on his shoes that he doesn't know about. Don't trust kids no matter what their age. Tell her friend's parents to do so as well because they might use their friends's phones. I found my 15 year old ds using bad words online! Angry Angry Angry Don't trust kids.

MaidenMotherCrone · 20/12/2018 05:01

WTF. /l\

Heifer · 22/12/2018 22:38

I'm the first to admit I checked DD phone when she was younger. She has just turned 15 so same school year as your DD Malibucyprus. To be honest I've stopped checking her apps and messages as I feel uncomfortable doing it now. It seems like snoping. I think she needs some trust, space and privacy now she is in Yr10. She had 3 to 4 years of me teaching (nagging) her about the perils of the internet and phones. If she hasn't learnt by now she never will.
Having said that, she still has to leave the phone downstairs charging Sun-Thur during term time so she isn't tempted to use it late at night.
I would ask her is she has a certain App that I've just learn about etc but I wouldn't look at phone without her knowledge.

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