When your child breaks her phone.

[user1494670108]

Dd is 13, glued to her phone at all times apart from at night when it stays downstairs. It does cause many issues in that she doesn't do anything else when at home.
So far so normal I think to a large extent.
Tonight she's dropped it down the toilet - this is the third accident in 3 years and so far it's dead. We have insurance that means she can get a replacement for £100 but she has only £40. I think we lend her the £100, let her have the £40 for social plans she has coming up and she can pay us back. I've said she can keep her dinner money and make herself packed lunches to help herself as she doesn't have much opportunity to get money otherwise (£5/ week.
Dh feels she's obsessed with the phone and doesn't value it at all so that's too soft.
I'm by nature much more care less than dh who is I think unusually careful so I'm more inclined to be soft because I understand.
What do you all do?
We could easily afford the £100 ourselves but that wouldn't teach her anything.

I kind of agree with your DH but killing a phone once in a year isn't too bad of a record. (Though I've done it just once since they invented the iPhone! These things are too expensive not to be extremely overly cautious with)

Personally I would make your DD sweat it a bit without a phone. Dropping it in the toilet is pretty careless tbh. She should be well aware that it probably shouldn't be anywhere near a bathroom if possible. If she is without a phone for a short while she will learn to value such an expensive gadget so much more.
I'd probably pay it next week or so and have her pay you back. She needs to be the one forking out for it, especially as the raised premiums will be yours to foot right?

I think your husband is right. You CAN afford the £100 but that doesn't mean you should.

If your kid breaks their phone through carelessness, they have no phone. Because it's broken. If they need to be contactable 24/7, a 10 Nokia from CEX WILL be fine.

And actually, I'm no Luddite, my kids have so much tech their friend's eyes boggle, but I do not replace items carelessly treated.

Well don’t do anything !! It’s only a few weeks till Christmas if she has to wait till then maybe she will look after the next one better.

At this time of year ds(14) would be waiting until Xmas for a replacement iphone. I'd dig out an old Nokia for him in the meantime.

He has had iphones for coming up on 4 years and none have been damaged or lost yet.

What kind of insurance means you have to buy a new phone anyway

Whatever you do, get a better policy for her next phone.

People who don’t take their phones into the bathroom don’t drop them down the loo. It’s not what you do with an expensive item and it’s not hygienic either.
I think your dd should be coming up with the solutions. If she doesn’t even have to come up with the plan, let alone fund it, it’s no wonder she doesn’t take sufficient care with her stuff.
Like you, I’m a bit soft & would want to help but I would expect my daughter to suggest a couple of solutions, that involve her taking some of the financial responsibility, and include ways to avoid this happening again and then I would probably help.
Her brain should have to take the strain here, not yours.

I wouldn't give up on it just yet, wait for it to dry out. They do say shove phones in a bowl of rice to absorb water, but I don't know if it actually would work. £5 a week is going to be a long time of making sandwiches for school dinners to £100. Plus not cost effective as you'll still be buying everything in for her to take. New phone for Christmas as pp suggested seems the best option.

Well I have ruined my phone and still have another 7 months on the contract, refuse to pay to get it fixed so I'll need to make do. I would replace it for her, it was an accident. Phones are slippery wee shits they are determined to break themselves!

My 13 year old dropped his iPhone in the bath I stuck it in rice in the airing cupboard for 3 days it works fine! I did tell him that he wasn't getting another one till his contract is up in March.
He knows he shouldn't have been on it in the bath, he knows he was stupid, hopefully he won't be so silly again. I would not have replaced it.

Could you make her do jobs to earn the money washing up each night Taking the binout etc xx

When dd smashed her phone she had to earn the money to pay for the repair. She went without her phone for a few weeks until she earned half of it then we lent her the rest and she paid it off with a summer job. She's much more careful with her phone now!

I wouldn't be lending. She can build up the money from £40 to £100 and that'll teach her something.

My DD is 48 and has dropped several phones into the toilet by putting the phone into the back pocket of her jeans and then when she pull them down to go to the toilet the phone tips out into the bowl. She's managed to rescue a few by putting into a sealed bag full off rice.
It happens. Accidents happen. I'd get the phone sorted and let her pay you back when she can.

My eldest broke his phone and then when we bought him a new one he dropped it in the river 🙄 he was about 14 at the time and is now almost 24

I’d do what you suggested, pay for it but make sure she pays it back even if it takes her a while. I think they do appreciate things more and are more careful if they have to pay for breakages. Let’s face it though, no teen wants to be with out their phone, it was an accident a careless one.

Oh and I’ve done exactly the same as a pp did, dropped it in the toilet after putting it in my back pocket. That was 10 years ago and I’ve not done it again!

Asking what she thinks is a good solution I think it's a good idea, as someone else said.

E.g.

• replace a Christmas present with a new phone and she can do without until then (or an old brick phone)
• she can get jobs babysitting, raking leaves, weeding, etc and earn the money or earn half and you pay half

Its only 3 weeks til christmas. She can either have a replacement then or use her christmas money to pay for the repair.

From personal experience of a DD who's a little older and now has a very entitled attitude would actually make her choose. I wouldn't give her a new phone, I'd give her the option to earn it perhaps with some chores that she wouldn't normally do. My DD is obsessed with her phone an it's unhealthy, it makes har lazy and if she doesn't have it quite aggressive. I'd get the phone sorted and keep it until she's paid you for the excess. In the mean time perhaps offer her rental of an old phone you have or buy a very cheap one so she can still text and tell you where she is etc. But actually a few weeks whilst she earns a phone will help her prioritise her money better and will teach her a valuable lesson about managing her finances and looking after her stuff. When she's an adult you'll thank yourself that you have a DD who realises you can't have everything instantly and you have to put in the hard work to get it.